Every man, woman, child and llama will have an endless supply of gingernuts whether they want them or not.
Every goddess must give peabrains a head start in discussions.
Domestic appliances will be allowed to be used only by goddesses – for health and safety reasons.
The default position of loo seats will be upright.
Investment interest rates will be set at 20%. To be fiscally sound this will be balanced out with borrowing rates set at –20%.
Bank holidays will be extended for all those in work with the exception of bankers.
The only allowable expenses for MPs will be expensive presents for wives of selected constituents.
The environment will be left to it’s own devices although mowing the grass will be encouraged.
I promise that I will personally kiss and hug everyone that votes for me ……. I know ………… irresistible …….
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