The most important and the most basic skill to learn is: how to open your eyes. Any attempt to wake up and function properly without learning how to do this is doomed to failure. I must admit that over the years I have tried to leave out this stage but the results; cracked shin bones, using haemorrhoid cream instead of toothpaste and actually going out of the front door and stripping off my clothes convinced that I’m in the shower, have led to complications, frequent visits to the A&E department and the occasional lawsuit.

images-2 Well done! Stage 1 completed!

I believe the skill should be made a part of the National Curriculum and taught in all schools. I realise that there is a small logistical problem in that that on the first day of school the lesson hasn’t been able to be taught yet but I feel that if parents are supportive it’s possible to get over this small hurdle. If the parents can’t help then I believe it is the responsibility of the government to provide strings that can be led from each house to the main entrance of the school, where qualified teachers can then guide our young people to the correct classroom to learn this valuable lesson.
As I’m not qualified to give the proper instruction I can’t go into too much detail, but I can mention that staples, springs, fine wire, a series of pulleys and small lead weights could be involved. It’s not for the faint hearted! Of course if you have servants the problem is easily solved.