(The curtain opens to reveal Daddy Papersurfer asleep on a sofa) (Uma Thurman dressed as Mia Wallace from Pulp Fiction enters stage right and starts dancing to “You never can tell†by Chuck Berry) (DP wakes, stands up and collapses) (Uma takes a bow and the curtain closes) (The audience hears a siren) (A paramedic […]
Poor Uma is getting quite desperate. I received this piccy today – how she found my email address I’ll never know. There is only one goddess for me …… and she is within shin kicking distance …… I’m not that daft. The TG’s feelings towards me were confirmed the other day when she landed a […]
I’m practising my new act so that I’m fully prepared for this new show that’s planned for next year. The judges will be Simon Cowell, Sir Alan Sugar and Uma Thurman. This photograph will give you a glimpse of what will be truly awesome. (Collapsed in helpless heap, laughing. Now if he’d said frightening……. Lo,TG […]
I had a marvellous day at the office yesterday. My boss gave me a huge bonus, exclaiming, “My goodness DP, sliced bread – brilliant!! – I would have cut it across and not lengthwise – we’ll sell lots more spam now – excellent.†My innovation and consequent financial reward were the talk of the ‘Water […]
(Now shall I comment on the title………… no, far too obvious. Lo,TG Ed) Those funny people at Iffyton High Street have been persuaded by Kevin at Fuelmyblog, to give away more t-shirts – the fools!! I’ve already mentioned to them my doubts how sound a business plan this is…….. ………. but then again it could […]
We all have, to a greater or lesser extent, those voices in our heads that say things like – “You can’t do that – you’re not clever enough.†“Do you really think it was a good idea to tell her that yes, her bum does look big in that?†(I think you know the answer […]
*TRRRRRRRRRRRRRRING* “What the ………!†I sat bolt upright in bed and then remembered that I had a very important interview with Uma Thurman about why an ageing git was so attractive to goddesses. I jumped out of bed forgetting, that I’d parked my skateboard there in case I needed a quick getaway. I scooted across […]
*TRRRRRRRRRRRRRRING* “What the ………!†I sat bolt upright in bed and then remembered that I had a very important interview with Uma Thurman about why an ageing git was so attractive to goddesses. I jumped out of bed, forgetting that I’d parked my skateboard there in case I needed a quick getaway. I scooted across […]
*TRRRRRRRRRRRRRRING* “What the ………!†I sat bolt upright in bed and then remembered that I had a very important interview with Uma Thurman about why an ageing git was so attractive to goddesses. I jumped out of bed, forgetting that I’d parked my skateboard there in case I needed a quick getaway. I scooted across […]
Well it didn’t take Papersurfer long to throw me out of the nest and, quite frankly, I’m more confused than ever. What is the etiquette for the polite blogger? Can I ask Lucy Pepper to pimp my blog with one of her drawings? Can I ask Nursemyra for confidential advice about ingrowing toenails and outgrowing […]
