Just a few words can change status dramatically From ‘dear heart’ To ‘fat old fart’ A way of confusing me quite systematically. If only someone would, and I’d thank them ecstatically, Help me just grasp Before my last gasp The answer to ‘hair?’ ‘bum?’ ‘dress?’ diplomatically. . (Yawwwwn, still, quite a nice little pome. Lo,TG […]
I seem to have mislaid my handbook on how to behave around goddesses. Do I open doors for them? Offer them my seat? Leave the seat up or down? Tell them their bottom does ‘look big in that’? I’m pretty sure it’s OK to break wind in bed, but not to flap the duvet up […]
The washing machine is a mystery to me. This is not a deliberate policy. The intricacies and permutations are way beyond my understanding. Temperature, type of materials, amounts of washing liquid, spin cycle ……. it puts my head in a whirl…….. …….. and don’t talk to me about separating coloureds and whites. There are some […]
……. the case for Daddy Papersurfer. 24 hours ago. “Oh look DP, this wrist watch has got a very clear face and is very reasonably priced. It’s just what you need.†“OK, I’ll have a look later – I’m just re-arranging the cutlery drawer.†5 minutes ago. “Oh yes, that looks very good – I’ll […]
I’m sitting in the conservatory at the Cliff Top Residence watching Gertrude climb the fence to greet our new neighbours – who are looking slightly concerned. I’ve reassured them that llamas don’t eat cats and that their marigolds will come back better and brighter in the spring. The terrible Goddess has been humming, which is […]
