There are various subtle signs I have slowly learnt over the many years of bliss with Lo, she is a terrible Goddess, that mean my behaviour needs moderating, adapting or stopping. (I would go for ‘stopping’, but as Avid Readers will have realised by now, my innate good nature always reasserts itself at the wrong moment. Lo,TG Ed)

For instance, the well documented ‘shin kick’ is used to :

1. Get my full attention when the TG is telling me something important.
2. Indicate that it’s my turn to cook, fill the dishwasher, empty the dishwasher, vacuum and take out the bins.
3. Any other reason that takes her fancy.

The ‘look’ which is far worse and strikes terror to my soul is employed when :

1. I’ve made a mess and not tidied it up.
2. I’ve forgotten to take my shoes off at the front door.
3. I’ve started telling her something really interesting when she’s just reached the denouement in the book she is reading.
4. I’ve left change on a random flat surface.
5. Any other reason that takes her fancy.

The rare but interesting ‘take the tea-bag straight out of the boiling water in the cup and put it on the back of my hand’ is wielded when she’s feeling playful – to be absolutely honest, I’m quite relieved that she’s serious minded most of the time …………. (I’ve explained this to you before, Peabrain. The water, having been poured into the cup, cannot be boiling at that point. Lo,TG Ed)