Yesterday I went to the silver wedding celebrations for the kid I used to teach. The whole experience was very shocking.

Sean and Sharon

As you can see the happy couple are only just capable of standing and have to rely on each other to keep upright although the incontinent pads hardly show which is a blessing. He’s put on so much weight he looks like a Telly Tubby and she is so wrinkled and doddery she has to wear special shoes and obviously, looking at the length of her dress, they’re really short of money.
The house they are living in is a tiny hovel as you can clearly see by the way people are jammed into the minute kitchen.
I thought she was introducing me to their friends as ‘His’ mentor but thinking about it in the cold light of morning I’ve just realised she was actually saying “He’s mental.”
One of their daughters can be seen in the background. She was chained to the kitchen sink and was only allowed water to toast the happy couple. She returned to her duties seconds after this photograph was taken.
I escaped fairly early on in the proceedings and spent the journey driving home trying to think where I had gone wrong.