MY MOTHER-IN-LAW

Avid readers might have noticed that I have rarely mentioned my mother-in-law.

There is a simple reason for this. She would need a post as long as War and Peace [and would probably have a similar title].

Anyway she did teach me a couple of things that have been very useful in helping me get through life so I thought I’d hand them on.

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The Marrow Song

A marrow’s a banana’s father

A marrow’s a banana’s Dad

It started life as a gherkin

So it hasn’t done so bad.

So if you step on a banana

Remember this my lad

A marrow’s a banana’s father

A marrow’s a banana’s Dad.

and, not forgetting………..

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The Two Little Sausages Song

Once in the corner of a ham and beef shop

Two little sausages sat.

One was a lady, the other was a gentleman,

Sausages are like that.

What a pair of silly little sausages –

Theirs was a very bitter pill;

They snuggled up together

In the cold and wint’ry weather –

Theirs was a very mixed grill,

Tra-la-la-la-la-la,

Very – mixed – grill.

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(I think they are music hall songs her mother used to sing to her. My Edwardian Grandmother thought the one about the sausages was very naughty. Gilbert & Sullivan was her more usual fare; she had a pretty singing voice and, greatly daring, she was once one of the Three Little Maids in an amateur production of the Mikado. I remember seeing a sepia photograph of her in a long, floaty white lace dress, a huge hat with a veil, and a small parasol, on her way to a garden party. Autres temps… Lo,TG Ed)

Oh yes; the other thing that she taught me was to open the drawer to the left of her sink very slowly and carefully.

(Well, obviously. Otherwise the box of out of date sixpences would be shaken out of date order and the heads might end up looking in the wrong direction. Sheesh. Lo,TG Ed)

Match of the Day

Book of matches

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