I entered the murder scene. There were bodies in every room. The old man sat on the sofa staring into the distance.

I made a list: 8 spiders, 3 flies, 4 earwigs, a mouse, a rat and a kitten – all under up-turned glasses. All dead.

I spoke to the old man.

No response.

I took a gingernut from my utility belt and offered it to him.

“It isn’t my fault. The TG went on strike. What was I to do?” he stammered.

“I understand” I said and offered another gingernut, “ but – what about the kitten?”

He looked confused and then understanding spread across his face.

“A kitten! I thought it was a large hairy caterpillar. That must be Tiddles. Oh dear. Aloe Vera will be very upset.”

I cuffed him and led him from the house.

Just another day in the life of a Bobby.