Blimey, have I been in a panic. My so called friends say they can’t look after Gertrude any more [see yesterday’s blog].
Consequently there is no time left for me to train him to be a hat-stand. The President of the Resident’s Association has asked for a meeting with me in a couple of days time. Something about Wopra beginning to dribble and could I think of any reasons for it?
So I’ve come up with another cunning plan.
[Obviously this isn’t Gertrude – merely a role model.]
I introduced the terrible Goddess to Gertrude this afternoon and, thankfully, they get on very well – I think the TG is looking forward to the company (At last, somebody intelligent to talk to. Lo,TG Ed) and I’m going to persuade the TG to run up some pyjamas to fit him [tasteful, of course, nothing brash].
I’ve already mentioned to the President of the Resident’s Association in passing that I’ve got some friends staying who are actors and who are appearing at the local theatre.

Then if Gertrude should decide to start wandering around when the P.O.T.R.A. is grilling me about Wopra’s apparent deterioration since my arrival, I’ll just say,
“Have you met my friends? – they’re the Pantomime Llama in the show at the end of the pier”.
Then, if necessary, I can use the skills I’ve learned when talking to myself, to throw my voice, so that Gertrude can answer if P.O.T.R.A. starts a polite conversation.
[Note to self – get industrial strength incontinence pads, more gaffer tape and some string]
There’s usually a way around most problems.