There has been some concern amongst Avid Readers about how Gertrude, my pet llama, is doing.

He’d be fine, if he hadn’t taken rather a shine to a rather fetching ewe that some people on the other side of the marina are keeping in their garden. Recently he has been staring rather wistfully across the water and Mavis (sic) has been reciprocating his interest.

However, I‘ve realised that there might be some problems with height differences if the relationship is to go any further.

So I’ve come up with a cunning plan.

Every night I’ve been creeping out and trying to train Mavis to walk on stilts – I’ve fished her out of the marina several times and she keeps bleating on about vertigo and weak ankles. I’ve tried threatening her with a subtle mention of mint sauce, and bribing her with promises of an all expenses paid honeymoon to an exotic destination …….

……… where stilt walking is the norm, but she doesn’t seem to be getting the hang of it at all. I’ll keep on trying of course. I feel that I owe something to both of them.

As it stands at the moment however, they just enjoy somewhat stilted conversations and that’s as far as it goes.

I live in hope though ………..