… an overheard conversation.

This is an actual account of something that happened yesterday.

I wandered down the garden and became aware that a couple of women were having a chat on the public footpath that we back on to.

I started back for the house and suddenly tuned into their conversation which stopped me in my tracks.

“I was very worried when my menopause started. I felt there was a lump, you know, up there.”


“I was offered HRT but decided to try doing some pelvic floor exercises.”

“Oh, how does that work?”

“Oh, you just flex those muscles that you use when you pee.”


“Well they seem to be doing the trick. I feel fantastic now.”

“Oh good.”

“Yer, I feel great. (pause) You know Steve can’t maintain an erection for more than about 30 seconds …?”


“… well he can’t but he’s very good. He’ll go down on me quite happily. The tonguing technique he uses playing the saxophone comes in VERY useful!”

“Oh! Oh yes, stimulation of the clitoris is very important.”

“I’ve got quite a collection of dildos now as well. It’s fun.”


“Look, I think it’s going to rain. Come on Mum, we’d better get a move on.”

I didn’t mean to hear all this but I thought if I moved they’d be aware I’d heard their conversation and I didn’t want to embarrass them.

I think I need a little lie-down now.

(This post has no illustration because I’m well aware that the government is following my every move)

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