Chapter 2

“Have you seen my glasses?” I asked the still humming TG. (Not a word of a lie, Avid Reader. LO,TG Ed)

“No – perhaps they fell off when you were cutting the hedge?” she graciously replied.

I started retracing my footsteps and my step’s steps. I looked on the ground. I looked on the hedge. I looked in the shed. I looked in my undercrackers [they have been known to work their way down that far]. Nothing. Disappeared. Vanished. (!!! That’s the LAST time I borrow his glasses. Lo,TG Ed)

Suddenly I remembered that the TG had instructed me to clear the hedge trimmings out of the pond [this request rather cleverly sung to the tune of “Gonna Make You a Star”].

Could they have fallen into the pond!!!!?! Surely I would have heard a splash?

I bent over [not easy at my age] and looked.

There they were!!!! Obviously they’d landed softly and silently in the weeds. What a relief as I’ve only got half a dozen spare pairs left.


[This is actually a reconstruction of the denouement as I was so excited I rushed in to tell the TG the good news. Don’t try this yourself. You can’t see from the reflection in the water but I am wearing a safety harness and stabilisers] (The stabilisers are a constant feature, but the harness is usually only employed when I take him out for a walk. Lo,TG Ed)

My only regret after the drama of this terribly exciting escapade is that I completely forgot to help myself to Aloe Vera’s plums whilst she was dozing and she picked them herself later on that evening …… how selfish was that?

The End


Match of the Day

Match burial