… the fight continues for the right to sit or lie down and put things away in drawers.

The Flatpack War of 2014 in Central Portugal was a close run affair with the comfort of Lo, she is a terrible goddess at stake.

The pictures below are quite shocking. I suggest you have a cup of tea before viewing.


Initially I was having a very successful campaign and even involved Papersurfer Junior. I felt confident … even, dare I say it, rather smug. IKEA tried to fool me with weird names but I could handle that easily.

And then, in front of Junior, I was felled, flummoxed and fooled by Argos. They’d not left one fitting out or even two, I could cope with that, they’d forgotten to put any fittings in at all! I looked in the box 13 times, I lifted everything in the room 16 times, I looked back in the box 3 more times, I patted down Papersurfer Junior in case he was playing a cruel jape, I checked once more in the box. Nothing.

Lo had to be involved. I had no other choice. She made several calls and involved the family while I carved a horse so I could then cut off it’s head to put into something on her instructions.

Several days later Argos eventually delivered. They struggled to the end by leaving out 4 fittings. I laughed out loud and with the help of my gay friend in Poiares, who is open all hours, the problem was cracked. The bed was made … and I’m lying in it.