A MAN OF LETTERS …….. Day 13

The Cliff Top Residence
SE England

Dear Neighbourhood

I would like to make a suggestion and, if necessary, form a committee, concerning the use of lawn mowers, strimmers, hedge cutters and chainsaws, particularly early in the morning on weekends and Bank Holidays.

My suggestion is that no mechanical or electrical devices are used before 10 am ………. actually perhaps midday might be better …… and certainly not later than 1pm when I start my siesta.

I realise that it is essential to manicure our gardens just in case the Joneses get professionals in to nip and tuck their garden to the last millimetre but we must consider everyone else in the village particularly me and my medical need for sleep.

I do apologise that I don’t join in the 10:32 am start for car washing on a Sunday or the cleaning of the wheelie-bins at 11:08 on a Tuesday but, as I have explained to several of you, I’ve got a really bad attitude.

I’m also reluctant in taking part in curtain twitching but will consider supporting the local Post Office now that they’ve installed a Lottery machine.

However I do believe that action is needed concerning mechanical devices in our gardens and consequently would like to put myself forward as the village vigilante – I have a shot gun license.

Yours sincerely

Daddy Papersurfer