The Cliff Top Residence
SE England

Dear Market Stallholder,

I feel that sincere congratulations are due to you on your inspiring knowledge of the law.

I was delighted with the hammer I bought from you. The two nails that it drove in perfectly before the head flew off and broke the terrible Goddess’s favourite piece of Susie Cooper are still doing their job very well.

It was a pleasure to see you still at the market later in the day when I came back to have a word – I thought that you might have packed up early.

Your very vivid explanation that a “life time guarantee was a guarantee for the life-time of the hammer mate which is now quite clearly dead innit. So, matey I can’t replace it or give you any money back mate. Sorry chum that’s the law innit.” It was very silly of me not to have realised exactly what that huge notice over your stall meant. Selfish really, to assume that it referred to my life time and not to all the wondrous wares that you display. I must say your *shrugging shoulders* classes certainly paid off handsomely as well.

By the way, I do apologise for tripping over the leg of the stall as I was leaving so that all your goods crashed to the floor. I would have helped pick everything up but I had an urgent appointment with my retail therapist.

I might see you next month. I’ll be the one parading up and down with a placard.

Yours sincerely

Daddy Papersurfer