The Cliff Top Residence
SE England

Dear Mothers on the school run,

How very reassuring that obviously none of you are suffering a personal credit crunch or indeed, worried about global warming.

The display of 4×4 vehicles outside the Little Henry and Henrietta Pre-School For Over Achievers this morning, was very impressive.

The delight I felt waiting while you parked almost in the middle of road and then had a chat with each other, was only surpassed by my overwhelming sense of pride in the future of our country, as encapsulated by your be-satchelled children, as they scraped down the side of my car, chatting about their oboe lessons and whether acrylic was preferable to oils.

It is evident that you prize the safety of your children above all else, as the majority of you only drove a few yards up the road before turning into your driveways. Heaven forfend that the little darlings should get some exercise or that your Gucci shoes might come in contact with the pavement.

Oh, by the way, later on, on my way to the re-cycling facility, I may have accidentally poured a slick of cooking oil all over the road  – I trust you managed to work out how to engage the 4 wheel drive facility successfully and that none of your dear children slipped, got covered in oil and than sat on your pristine upholstery.

Yours sincerely

Daddy Papersurfer

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