WITCH HAZEL

oldwitch

Witch Hazel was really not nice
Always quite free with advice
With warts oh so hairy
I found her quite scary
Unpleasant to be quite precise.

Her demeanour was very abrupt
Her temper was primed to erupt
I admit to my shame
And I know it sounds lame
That I avoided her and her ‘disrupt’.

She died with nobody there
Her cupboards were cobwebbed and bare
But oddly her walls
From bedrooms to hall
Were covered in art that had flair.

Her paintings were lovely, and bright
Full of colour and dazzling light
Her chosen persona
Of crony old moaner
At odds with this marvellous sight.

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Match of the Day

Screaming match

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7 Comments

  1. Posted April 6, 2010 at 9:04 am | Permalink

    are your ditties like Aesop’s fables?? A moral in every production? …so this one is like ….make friends with scary old ladies (making sure there are no other rellies) and when they pop off you could amass a small fortune!!!!Is that it??

    daddyp replied:

    Well that’s an interesting …. yet oddly predictable reaction …. tee hee

    [good plan! …… shusssssh Aloe Vera might be listening]

  2. Posted April 6, 2010 at 12:19 pm | Permalink

    i bet Ms. Hazel also had a festive collection of brightly colored undercrackers! why don’t you go look… i’ll wait right here…

    daddyp replied:

    What sort of chap do you take me for!!!!?! *sneaks out …… sneakily*

  3. Posted April 6, 2010 at 12:35 pm | Permalink

    Perhaps if Hazel had tried banana skins on those warts….

    daddyp replied:

    Oooo …… does that work? I’ve got a wart on my …… oh never mind

  4. Posted April 6, 2010 at 1:53 pm | Permalink

    As a cranky old broad who lives alone, I find this especially touching.

    daddyp replied:

    I wasn’t actually thinking of you when I wrote it ……. but now you come to mention it …. tee hee

  5. Posted April 6, 2010 at 2:42 pm | Permalink

    always had trouble telling which witch is which

    daddyp replied:

    I would have thought your sense of smell would have helped ……..

  6. gitwizard
    Posted April 6, 2010 at 3:24 pm | Permalink

    If you perchance at the cliff to alight,
    In the dark and the gloom, dead of night,
    You may hear awful wailing,
    And cursing
    And flailing,
    The ghost of old ‘Ginger’, in flight.

    He upset his neighbour one night,
    By stealing her art,
    So, in spite,
    She hatched nasty plans,
    Fed him gingernut flans,
    Laced with drowsy pills,
    (She thought it were right).

    When he woke he was floating in soup,
    Trussed like a trussed thing – the dupe!
    She boiled him ‘til tender,
    He’d never offend ‘er,
    Again,
    He was out of the loop.

    They never discovered her crimes,
    Tho’ the story , front page’o’The Times,
    Was that Ginger when found,
    Was still gagged‘n’bound.
    (who keeps writing these terrible rhymes?)

    daddyp replied:

    Excellent GW …… I’ve been dunked!!! – there must an Awful Society of Rhymers we could join …

    gitwizard replied:

    What’s that Groucho Marx quote, something about not joining clubs that would have us?

    daddyp replied:

    I’ve always loved that quote ……

    John replied:

    I wouldn’t be caught dead commenting on a blog that’d allow my comments.

    gitwizard replied:

    I seem to recall a pic of you sporting a Groucho cigar…

    John replied:

    I’m considering going for the ‘white shirt as trademark mask’ thing possibly. 😉

    daddyp replied:

    I thought John looked rather dashing and sophieisticated ….. soppyisticated ……. soupaulated …………… cool.

    gitwizard replied:

    http://www.bloodyawfulpoetry.com/
    There’s hope for us yet!
    Can you dash off an invite to Archie?

    daddyp replied:

    It’s sooooooo bad there isn’t even any poetry there …..

    Archie Archie we need you bad
    Come on over even if your wearing plaid ….. or jimjams ….. or a tutu

    ……. that should do it ……..

  7. Posted April 6, 2010 at 10:31 pm | Permalink

    the boys are a plotting!
    their secret societies allotting
    casting nets far and wide

    who will be part of this?
    as they plot and plan with bliss
    inviting no goddesses in sight

    it will end in tiers
    involving chaps with hairy ears
    sparking chaos along the way

    alone in a club just for men
    you can imagine now the mayhem
    i am sitting back and watching

    the wait that only time will tell
    btw what is that smell?
    it won’t be long before they ask for help

    they be tinkering in things unknown
    t’is not Peabrains that rule the throne
    old ginger and witch hazel will put’em right

    gitwizard replied:

    Did you write that on your Haiku lappy?

    70steen replied:

    no it is a compaq!!

    John replied:

    …her lappy is a compaq one, mind you. *giggle snort*

    70steen replied:

    I am missing summut here ??? arrr the boys club has kicked in !! *rolls eyes sighs in a ‘huh’ kinda way*

    daddyp replied:

    Goddesses are very welcome to be in the club …….

    daddyp replied:

    Anyhoo, regarding the smell ……. I think it might be GW’s feet combined with John’s pits ….. I, of course, washed not that long ago ….. I think it was towards the end of January ……

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