Lo, she is a terrible Goddess has been ‘suggesting’ that the hedges need cutting at the Cliff Top Residence.
Unfortunately I’ve been very busy, what with one thing, and another.
Her ‘suggestion’ is getting more forceful by the day.
I’ve fought back manfully.
“But dearest …..”
“Don’t ‘dearest’ me – get out there and cut the hedges. I can’t find a sunny place to bathe in.”
“But my angel ……”
“But me no buts Peabrain ……..” and there then follows a very detailed and explicit explanation of ‘why’ and ‘what’ and ‘if you don’t then …’
If there’s anyone out there that could help me I’d appreciate it. I have mentioned wobbly ladders, sharp garden tools, high winds, rain and the fact that the sofa would get lonely – to no avail.
Help!
.
Stumble It!
13 Comments
I think you need to have a word with these chaps
http://www.daddypapersurfer.com/a-man-of-letters-day-8/
Oh, and BTW, llamas love privet.
If those chaps came round here they’d probably grub up the lot, have a bonfire and set fire to the Firehills – the country park we’re surrounded by……. and Gertrude is allergic to privet …… stupid animal …..
I could provide a spell that repairs lazy bones or an electric hedge trimmer???
[it must be coz it is Monday but by heck the interwoven is slow this morning!!]
Lazy!!!!? … I’ll have you know I get myself out of bed and onto the sofa unassisted – why I even made my own coffee this morning …….
….. the net seems OK in this neck of the woods – perhaps some ferrets have been gnawing on your under-wires?
Do some research on skin cancer and why people nowadays better get a tan in the shade.
I’ll put this forward as an argument Linky – I don’t hold out much hope though ……
You could also go to the shop, get yourself a fake finger and some red paint, say you don’t feel that good today but because you love TG dearly, start cutting 3 leaves, bend one finger, show the finger you bought in the shop, start spraying the blood paint everywhere and sing song under the shower: who’s watching me … try and see
Thanks for the warning Linky – but , as you’ve anticipated I have x-ray vision.
You are welcome TG, I was hoping DP would go for your suggestion, much less work than mine
It’s getting very difficult to get away with anything nowadays ……..
It shows, you are still here…
Am I? …… *looks round* …… are you sure?
According to Plato, you can never be sure, but then… I am not Plato.
I am that tree that falls down without making a sound …… well, actually, I do complain a bit ….
Just get on with it Daddy P – you’ll feel much better when its done! Lo will feel much better too… Happy times!!!!
I thought you’d say that ….. I AM very busy though …. *twiddles thumbs meaningfully*
Ooh, avoid using electric hedge trimmers. My ex borrowed some from the neighbours and managed to cut through the power cable within 30 seconds of turning them on (despite being warned to be careful of this possibility). Thank goodness he was wearing wellies or our eventual separation could have happened much sooner – and more permanently…
He also managed to assemble a new strimmer, turn it on for the first time – and then strim the instruction book into a million pieces, which broke the strimming cord thingie, which he was then unable to replace as we had no instructions. Seeing a pattern here?
It did mean that eventually, he was relieved of any DIY responsibilties as it was cheaper to pay someone else to do it than clear up his (expensive) mistakes.
Just saying.
I hate to say it but I have done the same although it took me about 2 minutes. Luckily I was standing on some metal ladders *flash*
I’ve been banned from using strimmers as, apparently, I decimated some prize specimen’s [about 20 years ago - sheeeessssh, don't some people have long memories!]
My boss has just bought a petrol hedge trimmer for £4 from the council waste dump, something we in West Sussex are no longer permitted to do
(because some moron at the council decided he/she had to justify his/her £50,000 salary by implementing a ‘health & safety’ directive!).
Rant over.
In Indonesia they forget about the petrol hedge trimmer: they just use the petrol and burn the whole rainforest down, very effective, just a bit of a nuisance for the neighbors…
Seems like Indonesia have more than their share of NATURAL disasters without anyone causing more.
This is getting very political round here ….. we can’t have that ……. can we?
You should send a letter to the authorities in Indonesia and they will tell you what can and what cannot.
And when you don’t put a stamp on your letter, for sure you will get it back.
Note to self – buy some stamps and find out Indonesia’s address ….. [more stuff to be done .... oh well]
Did you know you can make your own stamps out of leaves from hedges? Saves you a lot of money!
Note to self – invent and make a machine to turn leaves into stamps [this is going from bad to worserererer]
Can’t you British claim such a machine back from your second house, the one you have in case you need to visit London (as there is the lady on the stamps residing).
That’s a real lady!!!!?! …….. blimey
Actually the lady in the stamp is not real, nor is she a lady, I mean, the amount of different people that lick her… woosh…
OFF WITH HER HEAD!!!!!! – tee hee
Walter has the perfect solution for you. When our hedges need trimmed he simply gets out the old weed whacker. Trust me, it’s quick, and with practice, you can become a weed whack hedge trimmer expert.
Ours look great and he hasn’t used anything but a weed whacker in years!
So there you go. Now get to work!
Yes boss …… [blimey, nagged from all four corners of the world - who'd a thought it?]
Oh yes I have started to add a few select badges back to my front page, I have chosen you to represent The Brits in my humor category!!
I know you won’t let your country down! Also thank you ever so much for the lovely comment this morning.
Most people always want the pretty images and I am sure you know that. However, I too am a lover of the abstract.
When we can afford for me to start back painting you will find I am much more into Abstract and Impressionism as opposed to Realism!
Happy week DP:-)
You’re being very sensible Jackie – and I never thought I’d say that !!!! – tee hee
I shall take my responsibilities very seriously …. hang on, that won’t work will it? …. oh dear, now I’m confused …….. again …..
Please install the plug in so that I can have my gravatar back!
Not that I am vain but I do like to see the actual me and not that ugly blank white space.
That’s all for today…time to give you some fuel!
Hugs from across the big ocean!:-)
hmmmm, a few thoughts occur.
to the pub! ive learned you cant be lectured if you cant be found
also,
go ahead and cut them in the shape of something phallic them put up a really big sign that says “did it just the way you asked, dear”
also,
dont the trimmers fit her delicate hands?
also,
heres your opportunity to ‘go american’ and cobble together a powerful new hedge trimmer using parts from your lawn mower, vacuum cleaner, gas grill and possibly the in-laws sedan. youll be the envy of every guy in the neighborhood for sure
You’re living life near the edge Nooter – if the TG ever catches up with you, it’ll be the one-way trip to the vet ……. oh dear oh dear ….. mind you the last suggestion sounds fun …..
…what would happen if they got ‘butchered’, rather than put off? Would the task be delegated to other more ‘knowledgeable’ people?
You really need to consider the hermitage concept I posed to you a while ago. It’d allow you the ability to handle the couch more professionally.
I fancy the idea of being admired as a professional couch wrangler …… it sounds very manly doesn’t it? ….. ooooo, I feel a *grunt* coming on!!!!! ….. *burp* …. whoops, my mistake …..
Sorry, I don’t do burps.
Not even in your sleep? ….. [note to self - gather evidence for the court case]
My laptop doesn’t have a built in webcam eye, and I make a point of unplugging USB periphs before walking away…except for my PDA, but that’s always on it’s back and the ‘eye’ on it would be pointing down then.
You really make me think sometimes…and scare me.
Thinking is very scary which is why I avoid it …..
…am I wrong then?
If you don’t mind being scared – no – I think *cue scary music*
(Eats pop corn waiting for girls to take to stage and dance on brass poles)
Not working…next. *tosses popcorn into his mouth looking bored*
*Polishes brass poles and looks hopeful*
Suck yah fingah…suck it nastay for dis dollar! *waves it*
You appear to be far too knowledgeable young John ………. oh, OK then ………
You, me, Amsterdam, a glass window…we could be livin’ large. Wanna go places?
Before making any rash decisions I want to look into the running costs of red lights …….. and the safety of dykes ……..
They have laws there to protect all parties. I promise…no monkey suits or anything involving latex. I have my standards and reputation.
Latex!!!! ……. sweaty
The voice of experience, as always. Age has it’s benefits…palms no less. tee giggle tee snort!
I always keep some ipecac near just in case I’m really opposed to what I’m being bullied into. I’m sorry dear, I don’t feel well… Of course, you could just stock up on shin pads and continue to resist…
Resistance is futile I know ….. I just like to show my metal occasionally [which incidentally has got rather rusty - there's a Health and Safety concern I'm sure - perhaps I should sort that out first? - tee hee]
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[...] Daddy Papersurfer is another constant read and though I have been a bit of a slacker on commenting lately, maybe this post will make up for it, although sometimes posts can be short on DP’s blog they always bring a giggle to my chuckle muscles and reading the comments is fun, specially the post “WANTED — A PRIVET COUNCILLOR“. [...]