I’m just popping out, I’m not going far,
I wonder where my car keys are?
Beside the bed?
Inside the shed?
I’m finding all this very bizarre.
This is going to drive me quite mad,
Today is beginning to go real bad -
Now I’ve looked by the sink
And I’m starting to think
I’ll have to resort to trying an ad.
Oh no, I’ve just had a thought
Of what I was wearing– I’m distraught!
The trews I last wore
Have pockets galore
Oh how I wish they’d never been bought.
OK, I’ve checked the left leg,
Found a mouldy half eaten scotch egg.
I’m onto the right,
Not a key-ring in sight -
A penny, a sweet and a yellow clothes peg.
Only a couple more places to try,
Left buttock, right knee and the fly.
Now just the hips,
Eww, soggy chips!
No luck I fear – I’ve a tear in my eye.
I’ll just go and check out the floor of the car,
Crisp packets, some gum, and a Cuban cigar.
HEY! From this position,
I can see the ignition,
With keys in – they glint like a bright shiny star!
Well that’s it; I’m obviously losing my mind,
Time to submit to being confined,
The white coats will come,
I’ll just suck my thumb,
I’ll just have to hope that the nurses are kind.
.
Stumble It!
7 Comments
Not to worry… I’m sure all the nurses out there are just exactly like nursemyra!
Is that a guarantee? ……. I’d hate to be disappointed ………
I found a white peg and a penny in a pocket last week…. does that mean something?? Should I be concerned??
I don’t know about you being concerned but I’ve just got a message from Santa who said that I’d been naughty this year! …… still he got my age right ……. tsk
OMG no way !! Santa sent you a message ?? Wow ,,, it isn’t too late to be good you know
I think he’s picking on me ……. luckily he ISN’T REAL ……
He is so too!
Oh dear …… I hope I haven’t put my foot in it …..
Yeah for Archie
DP you’ve had it now ….no pressies for you.. oh dear!!
If necessary I’ll buy my own [I usually have to anyway - tee hee] ……..
This reminds of my famous (within the family) effort with my lost glasses. I spent half an hour looking for them and everyone else could see them on top of my head! Did anyone tell me where they were? Or why they were all laughing? Nahhh – such loving people! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
That’s happened to me – luckily I was alone and eventually passed a mirror …….. phew ……
“losing” your mind? I’ve got news for you daddyp – you lost it completely some time ago
Any idea where it might be young Nursey? …….
Any post titled “Trouser Trauma” that commences with a reference to “popping out” could be considered NSFW.
It’s all in the mind …….. or, in my case, the mindless ……..
It’s problems like this that arouse all my fears
And propel me to put down a series of beers,
But answer me please,
If you don’t have your keys,
What all are you using to clean out your ears?
I do apologise for your comment taking forever to appear – apparently my email notifications are on strike.
Anyhoo young Murr, I’m very pleased to hear, having found my keys and being able to now de-waxify, that such sensible habits are global…… Ooooo, I wonder if forensic experts look for DNA in locks?