Being an optimistic sort of chap, I have always believed that, when doing building works, I would find treasure.
Some careless Roman centurion must surely have dropped loads of gold coins when in a rush to catch the last post, or perhaps some Celtic warrior’s wife, tired of his constant roaming, pillaging and raping, buried his sword and helmet to hide them. Over the years I have had no luck whatsoever – until now …….
During the extensive excavation works at the Cliff Top Residence these two rarey objects came to light.
After intensive and thorough research I have come to the conclusion that the object on the right is a very rare example of an Elizabethan contraceptive device. I believe it was wielded when unwanted approaches were made and could, in extreme cases, be used to remove the offending object offensive objects. (Lo,TG Ed)
The treasure on the left, and about this I have no doubts whatsoever, is an equally rare double ended knife. They went out of fashion on the occasion that Sir Trixie Marmeduke , when trying to foil a robbery, sliced his own hand off and then was sued by the thief because of the resulting blood stains on the rotter’s doublet and hose.
I, of course, will be presenting them to the local museum. My only stipulation is that the museum be renamed ‘The Daddy Papersurfer Museum – old fossils and useless artefacts’.
I am nothing if not generous …….
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Stumble It!
8 Comments
‘The Daddy Papersurfer Museum – old fossils and useless artefacts’.
Mmmm, so you’re going to be your own ‘performance art installation’, best you waterproof the Mac though, those rotten tomatoes play havoc with keyboards.
(Ingenious plot Lo,TG)
I thought that macs were waterproof …. blimey, things have changed since I t’were a lad …..
My word you could give Banksy’s exhibition a run for its money with those discoveries ,,,,, *shakes head and moves on*
http://www.banksy.co.uk/
It’s very odd how you never see his face isn’t it? What sort of person does that ………
surely you are not suggesting?????
Never …… I’m banking on it …….. *man of mystery*
What a fascinating and historically significant find! I never find anything of historical value… just boring old gold nuggets and gemstones.
Don’t Jamie ….. that’s very cruel …… *sob*
those might be our veterinarians snippers, i buried them really deep!
My eyes are watering Nooter …… *shudder*
Oh Lord I am praying that Walter does not stop over here and see this!
Sheeshhh….he has English ancestors, now I know where his problem began!!
Does he dig holes and live in hope as well …. ? – tee hee
It must be Monday!!! My entire day is going backwards!!
It’s Monday!!!!?! …… blimey ….. time really flies ……
It’s Monday!!!!?! …… blimey ….. time really flies ……
PS: Wanted to add great post!
I suspect this is a tad spammy as you haven’t left a real name but I do like gold Roman coins if you’re giving any away ….. tee hee
With a ruse about stuff to be found,
He gets all the Goddesses round.
They all think there’s treasure,
It gives him great pleasure,
To avoid digging that hole in the ground!
“It’s a bit like that Masquerade book,
Frac, don’t give me that withering look!
Someone buried some gold here,
Or something quite old, near,
You start digging and i’ll go and cook.
I’d help, but it’s me shins giving pain,
And I slipped in a puddle again.
I’ll be YouTubing later,
When you’re all in a crater,
You’re in the next DP epic ‘Just Sayin’.”
Ooooo GW, that’s very good ….. an epic in itself. Actually, that’s reminded me, I was going to attempt a long one myself ……
…… and the other thing is, now I’ve discovered the art of film – tee hee – perhaps I should do a poetry reading from my comments!!!! I’ll have to give that some thought ……….