THE MAPLE LEAF RAG

The Maple Leaf Rag

This is the first edition, and possibly the last, of my new online newspaper that is all about everything Canadian.

A conucopia of Canadians + 1

From my recent experiences of everything Canadian, Canadialand must be peopled by very good looking, attractive and intelligent people.
Every man, woman and child must be extremely quiet and shy (HUH!).
They are excellent at chopping up lettuce leaves.
Obviously an abstemious race (HUH!) and yet they invent alcoholic drinks that contain clam juice.
I had assumed that they all wear bearskins and Davy Crockett hats but this doesn’t seem to be the case unless of course they make an especial effort when travelling or going to a weeding wedding.

I have never heard one break wind.

This rounds up everything I know about Canadians … so far.

(Yet another in depth report from our insightful foreign correspondent DP – Daddy Prober)

4 Comments

  1. Posted October 27, 2012 at 5:06 pm | Permalink

    I can only endorse this (it’s a sad world, sigh).

    daddyp replied:

    That’s a first then …

  2. Posted October 27, 2012 at 8:16 pm | Permalink

    A very informative review… but what about the Mounties??

    daddyp replied:

    They mount things.

  3. Posted October 28, 2012 at 6:27 pm | Permalink

    Depending on how the next election goes, i may make a run to Canadialand and beg to be allowed to stay. They are a delightful people!

    daddyp replied:

    Buy some trainers now!!!!

  4. Posted November 13, 2012 at 12:38 am | Permalink

    I AM CANADIAN!
    Having said that, much of what you say is true. Misunderstandings about us: a) we do not live in igloos b) the correct term is inuit not eskimo c) we are not part of the United States d) poutine was once the favourite of Montrealers but is available all over the country e) Nanaimo Bars originated in Nanaimo, British Columbia f) Celine Dion is Canadian as is Pamela Anderson (native of BC too) g) If you want to sound like a Canadian, just end each sentence with an “eh” and you’d fit right in.
    I live in Vancouver which is on the wet west coast of Canada separated from the rest of the country by a very convenient range of mountains that even Julie Andrews would have a hard time climbing to sing “The Hills are Alive” so we are a different breed from other Canadians. Vancouver ranks tops in surveys of most livable cities; Vancouver people rank low in terms of fashion sense because we favour a more relaxed way of dress and not the stuffy starched collar look of Eastern Canadians. In terms of fashion, Lululemon wear originated in Vancouver and now is a international brand.
    Canada is a nice place to visit so come anytime and bring lots of money to buy things — our economy needs it.

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