THE FORGOTTEN HOBBIT

When Tolkien removed all  mention of Floppy Baggins  from the Lord of the Rings he became the forgotten hobbit.

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The reasons were never fully explained but I have my suspicions.

Floppy Baggins wasn’t very bright, indeed, his last known meaningful synapse coincided with the completion of his potty training – rather like the staff at my local Halfords.

In fact, he was the one who found the Ring first, but abused it’s powers by using it to spy on the girl Hobbits as they skinny dipped in the Brandywine. It was during his agitation that the Ring slipped from his finger, later to be found by Sméagol. (‘Agitation’? Is this a biological term, Peabrain? Lo,TG Ed)
In my opinion Tolkien decided to re-write the explanation of how the Ring ended up in the waterways of the Shire because he feared that readers of his tomes might get a false impression of what Hobbits were really like. He said it was because the Floppy Baggins strand was just silly. I’ll let you make up your own minds who’s right.

[This is the missing poem about Floppy Baggins.

Floppy Baggins was a bit of a perve
His private parts to the right did swerve
He tried to re-align with some verve
But couldn’t get straight the wayward curve.

I’ve always endeavoured to read the poems in the Lord of the Rings but every time I’ve read it my eye skips over them. I think it’s because they’re rather boring.]  (Crikey, you’re right,Peabrain. Lo, TG ED)

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