There has been an annoying fly around for 13 hours and 24 minutes. Usually little creatures get shooed out of a window or a door. This fly boy would not be shooed.
The weapon of mass destruction was found and he got an ear full.
*Buzz buzz hiccough ………………… Buzzzzzz*
The TG advised me that hairspray might work.
*Spray*
*Buzz buzz buzz ……. Combs hair …… Preens …. Buzzzzzzz*
If you can’t beat them, join them.
I sprayed the little blighter with furniture polish. It might as well do something useful as it crawls over the furniture dragging it’s fat arse behind it ……… (Do you suppose Mrs. Fly turns to Mr. Fly and says, “Honey does my bum look………………. No, that’s silly. Why ever would you call a fly “Honey”? Lo,TG Ed)
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(It’s gone to that great fly heaven/landfill site in the sky now. Back to basics – a folded copy of “The Times”. Bye, fly. Lo,TG Ed)
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Stumble It!
11 Comments
Will you two STOPPIT!
I have a heart condition you know.
My GP has limited me to 16 units of laughter a week now.
I have to report that Fly Boy evaded us for a total of 24 hours +. He has now been buried with full honours in the Ming Dynasty vase I broke when trying to swipe him round the chops …..
BTW, I know this is probably not an option at the moment,’cos you had your garage cleared so efficiently by those scouts,(I hear they got a badge
for that), but WD40 is a very effective insecticide.
Slippery little b******s …….
Poor little blighter…. but they do bring it on themselves when they simply refuse to exit stage right.
I have one of those tennis racquet things that electrocutes them .. it also a brilliant way to practice your tennis moves.
http://media.photobucket.com/image/fly%20killer%20electric/NuffyNet/stuff/electric_fly_killer.jpg
70s, i’m all pent up but am probably at my apex, so if you wanna throw me a text………………….
are you any good at shed building ???
Good question – slaves always needed …….
Completely useless!!
My shed building teacher said that if I had a second brain it would be lonely.
But I can make a pretty tidy ‘Hexayurt’, if you’re interested.
Ah GW you are from the same school as DP… obviously different years of course.. so this Hexayurt… can you do one in wood??
Of course!
If you look at the Hexayurt site, you would realise that a brain damaged squiereil could build
you one in wood !
then indeed it is a shed but with a rather posher name
I want one of those racquets …… don’t forget it’s my birthday in November. It’s never too early to drop subtle hints – tee hee
I will search the pound shops of the Norff … you know nothing is too much trouble (,,,,,,cough… splutter,,,,,)
(mental note not to try and kiss 70s without permission)
Always wise young John …..
John … permission is always required lol
Yes ma’am.
DP on the other hand, welcomes all your kisses… and he loves to be surprised, permission not required!
(I’ve learned much more than I’d ever wanted to due to the part of my job that requires me to be tidying up in that magazine clipping room of his… I may write a book at some point.)
FRAC!! … what are you saying …!!! Have you been drinking ?? loll
I hope you shredded all those ‘Shed Fancier Monthly’
clippings………………………?
I’m staying out of between the covers with DP…in reference to his book.
There are several people here who should consider writing a gossip column ……. tsk …… *holds head high ……. furtively*
(…not alluding to otherwise either)
I’ve just been back to look at the comments at your ‘Big Brother is Watching You’ post.
If I send you £67-52, can you forward it to John, and tell him i’d like a mixed selection of those mushrooms, please.
He’s magic isn’t he? – tee hee
I think he means the…
:
:
:
…entry.
Sorry gitwizard…that was my right pinky extending repeatedly into the colon. Three time’s the charm.
Oh, I thought it was 3 ghoulies on a triple bunk who were having trouble sleeping …….
Pinkies, colons ?
That’s another week off the bike then I guess,
Ouch! Can I have a lie down in your shed DP ?
Mushrooms scare the crap out of me, never touched ‘em since I can’t tell the colors.
Course, the windowpane that got stuck in my burrito in the 90s sometimes comes back to haunt me.
I come here to make times fly.
I used to be somnambulistic.
Then, one day this geezer says to me “psst! Here, guy, try summa dis.”
“What is it?” I asked.
“Iss bloggin innit? £10 squids a bag”
Now i’m buzzin……………………………..
Is that the equivalent of an octopus? I was never very good at sliming slang ……
@Somnambulist What are you doing here? You’ve got stuff to test and stuff to do and stuff …. [don't work too hard - you're not as young as you used to be]
I’m reporting this to PETI-UK. I hope you don’t mind.
I Googled PETI-UK and this was one of the results – “Gas emissions from flatulent cows could be subjected to a EU quota as penal as that imposed on farmers who produce too much milk.” – tee hee hee
If the shoe fits…
(The real explanation is below)
Unfortunately the shoe does fit ……. I pity the TG
I thought your shoes were still in that tree ?
I bought some new ones yesterday ….. with permission of course ….
I hear there’s actually a support group for her somewhere online…
People (for the) Ethical Treatment (of) Insects
The UK chapter is fairly new. They don’t have a website yet. I’ve offered to help with it… of course, I’ll only be able to work on it while at
yourthe office…I try and shooooooo little creatures out under normal circumstances – this little b****r was just being a little b*****d …..
Oh come now… such a small creature? You’re supposed to embrace them, kind of like St. Frances of the Diptera.
Is he similar to Sister Dyspepsia of the Church of PMT? ….. that’s how I ended up feeling – tee hee
Hardly.
But… um… would you care to explain to me how you know what it would feel like to have those? I mean, I do understand how you and the Sister Dyspepsia would have a lot in common (evidenced by your frequent referrals to ‘wind’ which would be a byproduct…) but how is it that you’re so familiar with the Church of PMT?
I’m sure I read somewhere (FMB methinks it was) that you don’t even attend church.
Must be why you killed the poor thing instead of trying to be a Saint.
I’ve been married for over 40 years of bliss and I’m still alive ……. of course I’m familiar with church services…….. and hiding ……..
My post today is all about Bodysnatcher plants. I’ve grown some from seed, and the biggest one is now greedily feasting on all the compost flies from my other plants.
Don’t tell Fracas.
I don’t think PETI has a policy yet, for when insects eat each other… or when plants eat insects, so you’re probably safe. DP is in big trouble because he admitted to the carnage that happened at his hand. I mean seriously… he didn’t even have the decency to make sure the little bugger’s death was quick and painless, no… he tortured the thing with chemicals.
Sigh. He is in such trouble. I hope TG knows how to bake cakes with files in them.
Sorry Fracas, was that ‘cakes with files’ or ‘cakes with flies’ ?
Just wanted to make sure you you hadn,t gone all ’70s’ on us, typo-wise.
Hide GW ….. HIDE!!!!!
Have you built that basement yet?
I think I have a couple of hours,
you know what 70s is like on a Friday,
she’ll be plying her current gentleman friend with
that Armenian Cabernet that she’s been saving……
I can hear you talking about me you know … he is more of a Campo Viejo- Grand Reserva type
DP, can I borrow your abseiling kit again ???
tell me.. do you have shin pads???
Indeed !
I stole my latest pair from the boot/trunk of President Obama’s armour plated limousine.
They are made from a substance developed in space by NASA shin-pad specialists.
They are Bluetooth enabled, and have all sorts of weaponry inbuilt.
Hopefully the weapons have the ’safety’ on…………………….
ah! but it did not say ‘goddess proof’. batten down the hatches GW
You’re new friend is camp? – oh well, better luck next time …..
…… and GW ……… GOOD LUCK [I'm running away like the wind ........ whooooooosh]
I would never, ever imply that TG would bake cake with fLies in it. I’m sure TG is expert at everything she does. Clearly, she is a Saint, and perfect in every way.
Err, look, I didn’t mean to infer (DP, can you hurry up with that harness)…………….
What’s that noise………?
Oh no, that’s a CIA siren, they’ve got Goddess agents DP, have you still got that sea canoe..?
They have fully loaded cauldrons and they’re not afraid to use them …….
Just been listening to the excellent Clive James.
ListenAgain BBC radio4.
He is a grand-master of satire and irony.
Maybe, instead of hairspray, you should try a blow dryer or curling iron? They are KILLING ME!
XOXO
Ah, my beauty consultant!! Just a bit off the back please and just wash and blow dry my arms ….. thank you – tee hee
Invest in a 50p fly swat – my daughter and I have been recreating Wimbledon’s best moments in our house this weekend – I don’t know where they are coming from but I swatted 7 in the space of half an hour yesterday – I really don’t like them but for some odd reason they like me!
50p!!!!! – do you think I’m made of money?
Just returned from a friend’s house and they seem to be plagued as well ….. perhaps the little darlings are planning to take over the world …… 40/15 ….. set point!!
I think they already have in our little hamlet at least….. 50p – worth every last penny – think of it a an exercise regime – you too could be starring on the courts of Wimbledon come next year!!!
I’ve just got back from a weekend in Miami, where I attended a fly-swatting workshop, hosted by Rafael and Roger.
Not sure my skills have improved much though…………..
I have a fly that keeps trying to get into my ear. I think it’s drunk.
I’m going to get some hairspray, LOL.
Hit it really hard!! – tee hee
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