Every man, woman, child and llama will have an endless supply of gingernuts whether they want them or not.
Every goddess must give peabrains a head start in discussions.
Domestic appliances will be allowed to be used only by goddesses – for health and safety reasons.
The default position of loo seats will be upright.
Investment interest rates will be set at 20%. To be fiscally sound this will be balanced out with borrowing rates set at –20%.
Bank holidays will be extended for all those in work with the exception of bankers.
The only allowable expenses for MPs will be expensive presents for wives of selected constituents.
The environment will be left to it’s own devices although mowing the grass will be encouraged.
I promise that I will personally kiss and hug everyone that votes for me ……. I know ………… irresistible …….
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Stumble It!
10 Comments
Umm – I fear that compulsory kiss and hug just caused me to vote for your opposition. There is no amount of gingernuts which will cause me to change my mind.
Custard cream? ……. Jaffa cake? ……… Hob Nob!!!!!
Maybe a Jubilee Twist – appositely named – - -
Is that an Oldham Athletic supporter btw?
You lost my vote at the loo seat or was it the use of appliances ……
Did I mention that selected blonds will only have to work a two day week and that they will be given a shoe allowance to kick start the economy? …….
where do I make my mark …….??
[soooo easily swayed ....... *looks smug*]
damn my Achilles heel …..
I promise that the shoes will accommodate that particular nasty affliction …… you will treated as ’special’.
I fear you may have typoistis….. dear oh dear ..
It’s been a long day ….. or its bean a lone dog …… oar tits ben a looney crayfish ….. take your pick!
Hey, what about us redheads?
Obviously hair dye will be available on the National Health Service ……. tee hee
Do ex-*ankers qualify for the extra hols? If so, you’ve got my vote!
Ex-*ankers will definitely have extra hols with fringe benefits of stocks and a share of rotten tomatoes …… tee hee
Will there be a tax on gingernuts?
Ah good, I’m glad you’ve popped by……. I need a spreadsheet constructed to look into the fiscal pros and cons of such a decision and you’re the goddess for the job …… thanks
Funny you should ask, I was just pondering the feasibility of the gingernut
ponzitax scheme. I’ll need the expected risk-free rate of return so I can calculate the net present value of each gingernut annuity …I’ll leave the details to you ………. obviously *scratches head*
i want a pony. a brown pony named “Thunderbolt”. well?
You’ll have to emigrate to the UK first of course …… we have some very good trailer parks here BTW ….. you should feel right at home …..
what are you going to do about the frog community?
They will be welcomed and taken into out hearts …… so long as they keep in or near ponds ……
http://www.answerbag.com/atheletic
Obviously because he’s never tried ‘oop Norf’
This manifesto might have to draw the line at Tunbridge Wells …….. I’ll give that some thought …..
Is part of the manifesto, ‘to include at least 2 typos in each post to amuse the pedants’ ?
Oh dear, what have I done now? The TG is having some difficulty using the computer at the moment and so can’t keep a check on me ………
Atheletic?
I was staring at that and knew it was wrong …… obviously the brain is fried …….
I’m more than a little concerned about your accounting
I can assure you that my new system works just as well as any other ……. nurses, of course, will do particularly well ……..
No more dressing up and jammin’ my butt in a stroller anymore for this election?
And just when I was getting used to not stickin’ my bits with safety pins.
You can continue doing this as a hobby of course …..
You know, Capetown sailors often have their shipmates give ‘em a hand when pearling.
You…are a sailor man, aren’t you?
I have been known to pull on warps ……