Tag Archives: humour

IT’S ALL GOING TO PLAN

Have you ever turned up a day early for a festive Christmas luncheon so all you get is a glare and a cup of tea and you have to then drive miles back home and one of you then has to sit on the phone for hours re-arranging the arrangements that had been made for […]

THE DO DO LIST

This is my Do Do list, a very different animal from my To Do list. These are things I used to want to do but don’t any more. 1. See the Northern Lights. I’ve Googled Blackpool and it’s northerer than Tunbridge Wells + it’s wet and windy at Christmas time. 2. Go on safari. I’d […]

ONLY AVAILABLE FROM THE DP EMPORIUM!

I’ve literally spent several minutes inventing, researching, making and product testing the Hagrid Anti-Collider. It is fantastic! The Hagrid Anti-Collider [broom not included] This cutting edge device is guaranteed to help stop people colliding into you when shopping. Only this afternoon I accomplished a double whammy in my local supermarket when I managed to trip […]

A POSSIBLE REVELATION

I’m no mug when it comes to a thorough understanding of multiverse theories and I regularly juggle galactic and intergalactic theorems as a means of relaxation. My one concern is that there is a possibility that the universe that we inhabit is actually situated between the toes of another Elton John in another universe. If […]

FAME AT LAST

I’m looking forward to the new film “Thoroughly Modem Millie” where Lo, she is a terrible Goddess takes the role of Julie Andrews in the updated version of “Thoroughly Modern Millie”. An exciting tale of interweave dating, murder, mayhem and soggy gingernuts. Will the boy get the girl? Will the girl be able to get […]

A NEW BREED OF DOG

A previously unknown type of dog has been added to the new breeds register. The Dormant Camouflage Hound was discovered accidentally when Mr R. Grundlebottom was taking a photograph of the state of the pavements in his home town of Twitching Curtain in rural Wessex. He couldn’t believe his eyes when he developed the film […]

MY BIGGEST REGRET …

… is downloading Angry Birds, Angry Birds Seasons and Angry Bird Rio onto the iPod Touch. I have been thoroughly enjoying spending quality time with the little blighters but now that I’ve discovered that they are responsible for destroying Stonehenge I’m none too happy I can tell you! Next time I play I shall let […]

COASTAL CURRENTS ARTS FESTIVAL

On the beach at Hastings there are a series of very tall black huts that are/were used to dry fishing nets. The base of them measures 8 feet by 8 feet. A group calling themselves Eight Foot Square are doing a whole series of events during the Coastal Currents Arts Festival that are only restricted […]

PLAYING AROUND

I was reminded of Victor Borge when I read this post over at Nurse Myra’s. I have seen most of his routines several times and they still make me laugh. (Genius – not you of course, Peabrain – Victor Borge. Lo,TG Ed) .

BOTTOMS UP!

I was walking down the lane last week And spied upon the ground A banana skin just lying there Which I failed to go around. I was mesmerised and couldn’t stop From treading on the skin And proved that tales ‘bout slipping Are true, to my chagrin. I tumbled over and fell in the ditch […]