As I’ve mentioned a couple of times before I’ve never had a proper job;  something I am quite (inexplicably – Lo,TG Ed) proud of.
Anyhoo, whenever we were in need of some cash I would do a spell as a supply/substitute teacher, and inevitably taught many subjects that I knew little about. (A wide field, Peabrain. Lo,TG Ed) This wasn’t a problem, as I could usually wing it.When both the schools I worked for called me in to be the supply teacher that was examined for the OFSTED inspection  it became obvious that the people in charge of supplying supply teachers had a sense of humour.
My first inspection was during a teaching session about dental hygiene. Even then my teeth were in awful condition, in fact it looked as though I was on a gap year, so I decided to use myself as an example of what could go wrong (You could stop right here you know, that covers everything. Lo,TG Ed) if you didn’t look after your teeth. I blamed my father, he was soooo mean that if I was ever given a sweet he insisted that I made it last as long as possible – disaster!
It all went very well, of course.

The other inspection I had to endure was for a GCSE French class. My French is terrible – cor blimey, Guv, I have enough trouble with English. The inspector was a rather nice French [actually from France] goddess. I took the register and then glanced at the notes that the regular teacher had emailed in. I hardly understood a word. I didn’t panic. I spoke to the inspector.

“These kids are doing their examinations in a few weeks”


“It would be a shame if they missed out on a proper lesson.”


“I’m just a supply teacher and French is not my strong suit.”


“You’re French.”


“Wouldn’t it be sensible if you took the lesson?”



……. and so it came to pass. The person inspecting me took the lesson and I acted as an assistant.

I was a tad concerned that I might never be asked back.

Apparently I was awarded high marks.

“Mr D. Papersurfer although not a conventional teacher used his resources extremely well.”

Well, what was she going to say ……. “I’m a crap teacher” ……… reeeeeesult!

(Your true calling, Peabrain, would be to run courses 0n turning inadequacy into advantage. Lo,TG Ed)

[Off to Surfugal tomorrow. Tiggz is looking after the homestead so Gertrude will be fine. As usual the Interweave access is going to be sporadic – I hope you enjoy the break as much as I will. My time will not be wasted as the tome will be knocked into shape while we’re away. Hopefully it’ll be ready for publication on our return ….. *waving wildly*]