Gertrude, my pet llama, has been with me almost as long as I’ve had a blog. [new avid readers might like to put Gertrude in the search engine over on the right – either that or get a life of course].
Anyhoo, I was fossicking in the loft the other day and came across the suitcase he arrived with and in it I found this piccy tucked away under his spare pyjamas.
Obviously I was a tad intrigued and asked him about it.
After a rather long discussion [there are language difficulties of course – he was born and raised in America] found out that the splendid beast on the right was his Grandfather, named Winifred, and the shy little beauty on the left was destined to become his Grandmother – she got a bit tiddly after eating over-ripe apples and lost her inhibitions, among other things. Apparently this one night stand left Sidney in a potentially embarrassing situation but Winifred remained by her side until she sadly died a few years later; she took up with the famous Llama Drama company and fell off the stage during a rousing version of one of Shakespeare’s plays. This came as no surprise to the other llamas as Sidney failed to call the production ‘The Scottish Play’, referring instead to ‘Mac****’. She broke all her legs but never realised the irony as she didn’t recover from the ensuing coma. However, her interpretation of the Lady ‘Scottish Play’ heroine is still talked about today.
The story of what happened to Gertrude’s parents must be left for another day ….. I must warn you though, it’s very upsetting.
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Match of the Day
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Stumble It!
6 Comments
hehehe nice story DP
You need to watch out for the effects of over-ripe apples, so make sure you don’t leave too many lying around!
Don’t mention apples to me! ….. I keep tripping up over the b****y things …..
p.s. is that actually ‘Time Lord’ match, or is it a periscope?
It’s a really bad photo …. I should have taken another one but got diverted ….. and yes, it’s definitely Dr Match.
BTW I like the new Top 100 Matches of the Day… do you think the pictures in the list widget should be a little bigger?
Yes, that would be good ….. if possible ….
I’ll have a word with the picture faeries….
Lovely ……. gingernut?
Oooo …. you’ve done it!!! – what marvellous faeries!
It’s amazing what you can accomplish with a gingernut or two as incentive… nom nom
That’s reminded me ….. I need to buy some more …..
I thought it was something pornographic
Are periscopes pornographic? …… I mean MATCHES!!!
Hmmm. I always wondered why they named that game Tiddly Winks… I guess it had something to do with apples and llamas. I’m sure you’ll explain it in one of the future ‘Gertrude’ tales. I’ll count the days off, but since it would be rather foolish to mark them off on the wall (like prisoners do) perhaps I should count down with matchsticks?
(I see your fraccy inspired match of the day is rather high on your list. Shall I prepare for a bonus?)
The Fraccy inspired match is one of my favourites …. and that’s the only bonus you’re likely to get! …. tee heeeeee *checks wallet to make sure the padlock hasn’t been tampered with*
Drat! You foiled me. I saw the title and had remembered the ‘disco inferno’ part. Since ‘Burn baby burn’ are the words preceding disco inferno in the song I naturally was foiled into thinking that was the disco inferno match of the day.
Poopers.
However… no padlock can withstand a good frac, so just beware. And anyway… I’m dragging the cauldron out of the shed now that it’s fall… I’ll be working on my own bonus plan as soon as I’ve gathered enough firewood.
If you need a match to light your fire just let me know !!!!!
[I don't think Disco Inferno has been uploaded yet - I do a few a week - when it is I'll make sure it zooms up the list!]
Yes it is …. silly me ….. I renamed it John Tra-vesta-ty …… moving up the list right now!!!
“Come on baby light my fire” would make another good match of the day. I’m sure your artistic prowess would enable you to make the flames look exactly like Jim Morrison’s hair…. or… since you did the book of matches so well, you should have no trouble fashioning several matchsticks into a door…. or you could even go with the ’set the world on fire’ portion of the lyrics….
I tell you DP… you have no idea how lucky you are to be getting my creative brain to work for you for free…!!!!!!!!
Just finding my notebook young Fraccy ….. my goodness, you’re on fire now …… *scribble*
I hear DP is trying to work flip-flops into a ‘Match of the Day’ too……
Am I!!!!?! ……
So… would you say he has a burning desire to come up with an idea for that?
I just hope he remembers that if he chooses to use the phrase ‘hot to trot’ that he’ll risk attracting some of those kinds of people who visit my blog looking for the old ‘red bra diaries’ pictures….
Ah well… I am famished. Wonder if a ‘hot pot’ might unstuffle my nose?
I really think that I’m allowed a *groan* now …… *grooooooooan* …….. that’s better ….
Oh dear, does the fate of Gertrude’s parents have anything to do with these folk….
http://www.exoticmeatmarket.com/llamameat.html
The thought was so upsetting I forgot the ‘?’
NOW I’VE GOT TO HIDE THAT FROM GERTRUDE!!!! *puts laptop under cushion*
nothing more tragic than the tale of a drama llama grandmama. always gets my goat…
I can offer tea and a gingernut if you’re feeling upset …… or a wee nip perhaps?
tea, gingernut or ‘wee nip’? i see you’ve been paying attention… i’ll take what’s behind door number 3, thank you!
We have a winner!!!! ….. gingernuts all round!
she seemed a bit a wayward one that Sidney!….not sure I believe the over ripe apple story at all… poor Gerty no wonder he is so confused ……
[I thought it was a periscope too ....]
I think she was a victim …… poor ‘ickle goddess llama …… and IT IS NOT A PERISCOPE! …… sheeeeesh