Slug defences

I’ll tell you what ……. b****y slugs and snails that’s what!!!

Under that protective funnel is what remains of my beloved courgette.

Relations of these evil monsters …..


….. have been chomping their way through my vegetables.

I’ve wrapped recommended copper round them – useless. (You should see him making up tiny little overcoats; it’s very touching. Lo,TG Ed) I’ve put coffee grounds down that gave them a caffeine rush that increased their appetites. I’ve drowned a million of the little b*****s in beer [what a waste!!!]. I’ve been out there at dawn and dusk picking them off my precious little darlings and thrown them into Aloe Vera’s garden [tee hee].

I got my secretary onto the problem so I’ve got a few more ideas to try …… but in the meantime …… everything is under house arrest at night and during the day I sit by the plot with a shotgun …….. well, it’s really a trowel that I use to pick them off with then I put the b******s into a jam jar and  tip them off the cliff top so they can swim to France …………… and get eaten – poetic justice!

(It’s just like having Clint Eastwood riding shotgun.

Well, nearly.

Well, actually it’s not.

Not even nearly.

Sigh. Lo,TG Ed)


Matches Have Talent

Northern Nora

Northern Nora