REFINED LANGUAGE

I’m always trying to improve my teaching techniques.

Many years ago, I was 19 I think, I had a job at the Chiltonian biscuit factory.

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(BTW, I have inside knowledge of what’s in these …

images … approach with care)

Anyhoo 1. There was a chap there who reminded me of Abel Magwitch from Great Expectations. A rather scary looking character. I got on with him like a house on fire. That is until I made some comment about his wife that seemed appropriate at the time. All hell broke loose. A lesson learned – avoid conversation about members of the family.

Anyhoo 2. This morning, in the supermarket, I fell into a conversation with a similar looking chap about swearing. This was instigated by him saying “Fucking arseholes” when he couldn’t get into one of the plastic bags for putting vegetables in. He spied me and apologised for his language. He then went on to complain about his daughter saying ‘fuck’ three times in one sentence. “I ‘ate girls who swear!” Obviously there’s a lot here that could be discussed but I decided to keep things simple.

Anyhoo 3. (not 3 really as I’m still standing in the same place in my head) I managed through dextrous manipulation of this wonderful language of ours to get him to see that his own swearing might have an effect on how his daughter speaks. He thought it was his own discovery and I didn’t get beaten up. A really positive result. I never knew that the broccoli section could be so interesting.

(And then, it was a very exciting shopping trip, I found a bulging wallet in an abandoned trolley. Full of credit cards and fucking* loads of money!)

((And yes, of course, I handed it in at the supermarket information desk. I really do hope that it got back to it’s owner … if only to save his marriage))

*Just showing that even I have been known to swear …. when appropriate.

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