Cargo pants

I’m just popping out, I’m not going far,
I wonder where my car keys are?
Beside the bed?
Inside the shed?
I’m finding all this very bizarre.

This is going to drive me quite mad,
Today is beginning to go real bad -
Now I’ve looked by the sink
And I’m starting to think
I’ll have to resort to trying an ad.

Oh no, I’ve just had a thought
Of what I was wearing– I’m distraught!
The trews I last wore
Have pockets galore
Oh how I wish they’d never been bought.

OK, I’ve checked the left leg,
Found a mouldy half eaten scotch egg.
I’m onto the right,
Not a key-ring in sight -
A penny, a sweet and a yellow clothes peg.

Only a couple more places to try,
Left buttock, right knee and the fly.
Now just the hips,
Eww, soggy chips!
No luck I fear – I’ve a tear in my eye.

I’ll just go and check out the floor of the car,
Crisp packets, some gum, and a Cuban cigar.
HEY! From this position,
I can see the ignition,
With keys in – they glint like a bright shiny star!

Well that’s it; I’m obviously losing my mind,
Time to submit to being confined,
The white coats will come,
I’ll just suck my thumb,
I’ll just have to hope that the nurses are kind.


  1. 70steen
    Posted February 28, 2014 at 10:06 pm | Permalink

    there there….

    daddyp replied:

    It isn’t easy you know …..

    shle3pyb4by replied:

    Hi 70steen!!!! :) *wave frantically*

    daddyp replied:

    I see you haven’t changed then ….

  2. Posted March 4, 2014 at 4:09 am | Permalink

    i would hate to have to do your laundry…

    daddyp replied:

    Oh please do. Shall I look after your car keys in case they get wet?

  3. Posted March 6, 2014 at 12:20 am | Permalink

    This is tooo funny. My husband has pants like that. I wouldn’t care about doing your laundry. I don’t check pockets. That is the job of the person who put the pants in the hamper… This is why our car keys have been washed a few times………

    healingmagichands replied:

    Oh, and laundry markers he uses at work to mark the produce boxes. These do not launder well.

    daddyp replied:

    There’s irony for you …. or should that be ironing?

  4. Posted April 19, 2014 at 5:54 am | Permalink

    Hey daddy!! :) It’s me, the one who loves to twirl? I have created a new, grown-up blog. Haha… How have you been? Miss you and the rest of the team. Oh, and love the poem too! Pants eh? xxx

    daddyp replied:

    Oh, there you are! Now don’t eat too much Pavlova …

    B4by replied:

    Hi daddy!! I have several posts now. And you can subscribe them now. I am so amazed with the fact that I am such a dummy in electronics and technology! Come visit more often because I will be extremely delighted! For sure!! Miss you!! Xx

  5. Posted May 5, 2014 at 4:11 pm | Permalink

    I want pants like these!! Oh, wait, on second thoughts, no, a bandit might ask me to remove them. In public. Not a good idea! Oh, wait. I can wear ‘em at home.

    daddyp replied:

    *waits patiently while minds are made up*

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