Wed
15
Jan
2014

THE BARE CHEEK OF IT!

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Is this the sort of thing we want to see in Hastings? Or even masses of naked flesh draped all over the sea front!!!!!?!

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Of course it is.

There are plans for a flashing flash mob this coming Friday down at the Stade Open Space. Full details on the Jerwood website – click HERE for details. This is an undress rehearsal in the hope of winning the performance photographer Spencer Tunick later in the year to do a huge event.

I can see the headlines now “HASTINGS IS THE PLACE TO HANG OUT!”

Even if you don’t want to participate, please vote HERE so that Hastings can win this opportunity.

Wed
1
Jan
2014

WELCOME TO 2014

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All is normal here at the Cliff Top Residence although the ducks are beginning to wonder when the gale and severe gale force winds will end. Still, it’s been quite a lot of fun crawling around over the roof replacing lead flashing, broken tiles and ridge tiles not to mention chain sawing the fallen trees … so I won’t. There aren’t any sculptures left standing either.

And before you ask I have no idea where that cat came from …. *sigh*

Mon
23
Dec
2013

MERRY CHRISTMAS – Ho ho ho

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Here’s a jolly picky of Lo, she is a terrible Goddess and Father Christmas. Lo is the one on the left. I recognise that look of suspicion.

I hope that everyone has a very merry Yuletide with suspicions being kept to the absolute minimum.

Wed
11
Dec
2013

THE FAIRLIGHT EYE

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This iconic landmark which has stood in Fairlight for almost an hour and a half now, is one of the main reasons the village is considered to be a “have to, must do” tourist destination.

The London Eye has copied this design and I wish them every success in trying to be as popular as this attraction.

Fri
29
Nov
2013

MY PUBLIC AWAITS ME

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I now know how Kate Moss felt when she made the cover of Vogue for the first time.

No doubt there will be sightseers waiting to catch a glimpse of me when I return from Surfugal now this has been published. I might as well cash-in I suppose. I am prepared to offer the ice-cream concession on the front lawn for December, January and February at a very reasonable rate. Please let me know if you’re interested.

Many thanks to Anna for the photograph.

Sat
16
Nov
2013

EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT STICKS

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My continuing efforts to inform and educate are not halted because I’m in Surfugal.

There is no particular wrong and right end of a stick to get hold of. In very basic terms it depends on whether you want to poke someone in the eye or club them over the head. This particular stick has been broken in two*. The cleft end could be used to trap snakes and the flattened, sharper end would be very useful in digging a shallow grave to bury the snake in. The labels have ‘wrong’ written on one side and ‘right’ written on the other.

This sculpture will be gifted to one of our neighbours here.

* It broke in two by accident which was my fault. However I feel the point can still be made. Waste not, want not.

Sun
10
Nov
2013

SUNSET

If I’m being honest I’m totally peed off by pictures of sunsets. Most are boring or vulgar.

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This is the view from the balcony of our apartment in Surfugal. It is both boring and vulgar.

Sat
9
Nov
2013

CUT OFF MY LEGS AND COUNT THE RINGS.

There are loads of different ways to date a chap – birthday cards for instance.

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If you can remember the trouble that Dan Dare had with the Mekons then you really are a tad ancient.
I won’t go quietly though. I bought some hoodies yesterday with my birthday money and intend to intimidate people in Morrisons when we return from Surfugal by walking hooded up down the incontinent isle. Be warned suckers!!!!!

That reminds me … has anyone seen my teeth?

Wed
6
Nov
2013

TODAY’S THE DAY

I am now officially an old age pensioner.

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I think it might be fun.

Thu
24
Oct
2013

THE LITMUS TEST

One little litmus test that I use when trying to decide whether something has lasting artistic value is … can I recall the image clearly after being parted from it for a little while?
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And then if it get used as a reference point ….

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…. well ….. nuff said.