Sat
12
Jul
2014

EXCELLENT NEWS

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We’ve just discovered from a chap in the village that the new pad in Portugal has fibre optic cable running right up to it. Mega supa-dupa internet speed that reacts faster than I do!!!! I’m so excited that I’ve just spilt my sherry trifle. Just got to get it connected when we go out there which might be tricky. I’m sure it’ll be fine.

Above is the view from the balcony.

Fri
4
Jul
2014

BANYAN TREES

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Under the banyan tree remains an exceedingly good place to be … for the moment. It enables me to ignore the world with all it’s defects and enables me to concentrate on building a dais for Lo, she is a terrible Goddess. Decking is VERY important.

Thu
26
Jun
2014

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Sun
22
Jun
2014

PLAN 5328

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The new pad in Portugal used to be a shop.

A plan is forming in the empty expanse that used to house my brain, to open an art gallery in Cellar 1. “Daddy Papersurfer’s Cellar Full of Stuff” has a ring of success written all over it.

There is enough space there to create innovative, wonderful objects. And then display them.

Open by invitation only …. obviously.

If nothing else it can be used as a mausoleum at the appropriate time.

Oh, yes, it’s all about me.

Tue
10
Jun
2014

ANNIVERSARY POST

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It’s been one year since I last tasted tobacco.

I’m yet to be convinced that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks as I sit here surrounded by e-cigarettes with my arms, legs and forehead covered in nicotine patches. There are truths and lies within this sentence -#interestingpsychologicaltest

I think I need some jeopardy in my life. Perhaps I’ll start wearing purple. Perhaps I’ll slug water from a bottle when driving. Perhaps I’ll eat some Quavers. Perhaps ….

There is no black or white, only shades of grey.

Mon
19
May
2014

THE APPLE OF MY EYE

The Apple of my Eye

I casually stabbed an apple with a screwdriver, held it aloft and said to the apple of my eye “Take a piccy.”

Without a word she complied and then wandered back to her throne.

I thought I heard a slight sigh but it might just have been the sofa welcoming her return.

I think Magritte would have approved.

#artyselfiesthataren’t

Sat
17
May
2014

THE QUIET CORNER

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Everyone needs a quiet corner……. shussssssh.

Mon
5
May
2014

OH, LOOK AT THE DATE!

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It would appear that I’ve run dry for the time being.

My mind is occupied with other VERY IMPORTANT issues at the moment so I’m following the advice of Mr Colton … (well you can’t argue with a chap who went to Eton … can you?)

“When you have nothing to say, say nothing.”  CHARLES CALEB COLTON

Fri
28
Feb
2014

PANTS!

Cargo pants

I’m just popping out, I’m not going far,
I wonder where my car keys are?
Beside the bed?
Inside the shed?
I’m finding all this very bizarre.

This is going to drive me quite mad,
Today is beginning to go real bad -
Now I’ve looked by the sink
And I’m starting to think
I’ll have to resort to trying an ad.

Oh no, I’ve just had a thought
Of what I was wearing– I’m distraught!
The trews I last wore
Have pockets galore
Oh how I wish they’d never been bought.

OK, I’ve checked the left leg,
Found a mouldy half eaten scotch egg.
I’m onto the right,
Not a key-ring in sight -
A penny, a sweet and a yellow clothes peg.

Only a couple more places to try,
Left buttock, right knee and the fly.
Now just the hips,
Eww, soggy chips!
No luck I fear – I’ve a tear in my eye.

I’ll just go and check out the floor of the car,
Crisp packets, some gum, and a Cuban cigar.
HEY! From this position,
I can see the ignition,
With keys in – they glint like a bright shiny star!

Well that’s it; I’m obviously losing my mind,
Time to submit to being confined,
The white coats will come,
I’ll just suck my thumb,
I’ll just have to hope that the nurses are kind.

Sun
23
Feb
2014

SCREEN SAVER

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