NOT SO BRIEF

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Lo, she is a terrible Goddess gave me some very useful advice about being able to carry more stuff from A to B if I use a tray. She also included some tips.

Before placing items on the tray make sure that it’s not sticky by wiping it with a damp cloth. The stickiness could transfer itself to the bottom of the items on the tray and be transported to the eventual destination/s of said items. They could then be moved again and before you know it moving around the Cliff Top Residence would be like wading through molasses.

After wiping the tray make sure that it is dry. Any dampness could transfer itself to the bottom of the items on the tray and be transported to the eventual destination/s of said items. They could then be moved again and before you know it moving around the Cliff Top Residence would require water-wings or at least Wellington boots.

I practised the art of using a tray during the afternoon and then decided to employ this new skill, which I’ve added to my CV BTW, to serve the TG her supper whilst she sat comfortably on the sofa. I felt very confident.

I loaded the tray with some lovely lasagne, salad, requisite condiments, eating irons etc. Concentrating like mad I edged towards her but failed to notice that the rug was rucked. I tripped up and everything flew up into the air. With an agility brought on by fear I dropped the tray and flung myself headlong over her lap to protect her white evening dress. The plate flew over my head and deposited the very hot lasagne with most of the salad on my back, the knife and fork pierced my neck, and the salt and pepper miraculously landed very neatly on the arm of the sofa.
I kept very still although in considerable pain.

The TG sat immovable and silent for a moment or two, then,

“Did you wash your neck this morning, Peabrain?”

“Of course I did.”

“Good, and I know this t-shirt is clean. Don’t move.”

She pulled the cutlery from my neck, wiped them on my shirtsleeve  and proceeded to eat.

“Waste not want not, Peabrain. I hope the tray isn’t damaged… Now, KEEP STILL”

A new skill can be a mixed blessing.

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