I was born on the planet Gurn and expelled by the Brotherhood after an incident when I tried to light the farts of the Holy Cow.
The spaceship they sent me off in didn’t have a lavatory, but I managed with the clever use of some Tupperware and a straw.
I floated down, in a cloud of methane, somewhere in SE England , and was adopted by a kindly married couple who had no noses.
My super powers began to noticed when I first went to school; a special gas container was built for me by the local council which clamped to my behind and followed behind me like a cylinder type vacuum cleaner. It was siphoned off several times a day and the contents used to power the official car belonging to the Mayor of Littlehampton [his title was verified by his wife]. Other children avoided me, especially after curry night.
My life, before I was made redundant, was dedicated to righting my wrongs and providing energy for the National Gridlock after the failure of North sea gas. My sofa was converted to natural gas in the 1960’s and there was a direct line through to the refinery on the Swale. My services were no longer required when Nuclear Man appeared 2 years ago after his parents-to-be spent a rather wild night at Sellafield.
I do the occasional novelty event at the local windmill on windless days so the locals can still enjoy their wholemeal bloomers and white tins.
I felt that now was the right time to reveal that ‘Daddy Papersurfer’ is actually the pseudonym for Methane Man, as an exposé in the tabloids by the Daddypaparazzi was just about to blow my cover.
Please ask me any questions you like but DO extinguish any naked flames, as I’m still recovering from attempting the record for eating the most baked beans in an hour.
.
(And I have to edit this load of hot air. Lo,TG Ed)
Stumble It!
8 Comments
You asked for any questions but with no naked flames(it’s ok nobody smokes here):
I’m stuck on 48 down – 1981 Milos Forman film based on a novel by E L Doctorow
I haven’t got time to help …… I might lose my rag ….
Thank goodness you’ve posted a topic to get JohnC talking again, he’s been so quiet lately………..
He’s even been commenting on YouTube …… but no star rating …… slacker! – tee hee
are they silent but deadly ??
do you have specially designed trousers ?
wearing your undercrackers over your trousers must be a problem! or are they specially designed too??
what colour is your cape?
why am I here?
should I have a second cup of Earl Grey now or wait until I have showered?
should I wear my navy, grey, brown or black suit today??
@GW lol
Black, after your shower, no idea, cerise, I wear undercrackers over another pair of undercrackers with a complicated flap system, no trousers, variable ……
I started reading your answers the wrong way, makes just as much sense…..
Tee hee, they almost do don’t they? BTW the cerise is nice – it’s called Sid ……
Oh! Sorry, i’m a bit slow until a bucket of caffeine has been consumed. Tula Elice Finklea! Wonder why she changed her name?
It’s very quiet here, have you given everyone the day off, or is half the world’s interweave down?
It goes quiet sometimes …….. quite nice to just have a snooze …….. good day?
what is was to be read backwards …. ??? doh!!
You must be so BUSY that a quiet day must be welcomed sometimes.
Yes, a good day thank you. Very entertaining at work, have a look over at mine.
@70s:
The answer to Q6 is,
No, chuck out the Earl Grey and buy some ‘Organic White Tea’ bags from Sainsbury
but I love Earl Grey .. I did see white tea in a cafe the other week and wondered what it was… so do you have milk with it?? Ok on your recommendation I will buy some this week
I only drink tea and coffee black, so I don’t know.
I’ve never heard of white tea either …… is it the latest fad? …… we do drink bush tea here although there seems little point being caffeine free ……..
I was turned on to ‘white tea’ by my bosses wife. Very refreshing, but being organic it’s also very expensive, worth a try.
Your bosses wife gets turned on by white tea!!!!?! …….. gosh
Hello DP!It has been a while!Well,I do not know if Penfold know about it but local surfers are saying that the surf wave in Cabedelo is ruined.Some construction os going on to make the -well,I do not not know the word for it in english,I called it “molhe”- quay bigger into the sea.That’s the reasn they say the wave is getting smaller and could disapear.Say Penfold to read all about it in my post.He must read the blogs I linked in the post too.
I’ve been too busy the past few months so I hardly visited FMB.And for the last 10 days I’ve been ill,not influenza A…yet!!!…but something like it.So I spend most of my days sleeping.I am missing the beach already.
And you?Have you been to Algarve?
Hope you are fine!I miss FMB visits and comments…:(
Belinha!!!!! Sorry, you’ve been unwell. I had a similar thing last week and slept a lot – still much better now.
I suppose the little beach within the ‘molhes’ will be affected too which is a shame because that’s a good place for children and learners. You do get really violent storms there though with the water crashing and spray being flung up high …..it gets quite exciting sometimes doesn’t it?
Going down south later in the year …… might even manage a trip north to inspect Penfold’s handiwork just to make sure he’s done it properly – tee hee
I left a comment for Penfold too!He did wonders with the house!It’s magnifica!:)He must be proud.I admire people who can do it,to build a house I mean!:)
Belinha, no surfin, can she,
Kangaroo Poo is needed you see,
70s Idea will prevail,
All the 9s, on the nail,
and photees, just ecstacy…..
That won’t confuse Belinha at all GW …..
I think you should consider resuming your service to mankind. Green fuels are very chic these days. And I have to say… it sounds very green, indeed.
I am a powerhouse I must admit …….
Now I know why football never took off in Russia, they were using a grossly over-inflated ball!!!
Great post btw.
P.S. I found your blog on the BloggersChoiceAwards.com website and I thinks it’s the best design. I voted for you.
If you get the time please vote for my blog in the Best Education Blog category;
http://bloggerschoiceawards.com/blogs/show/78212/
Many thanks
Martin
Hello Martin – thank you very much for your kind comment – I’ll pop over now, have a read, and see if you deserve a vote!!!!!
You do deserve a vote …… and I have ……