Scene: The village shop. The girl behind the counter, Milly, is rearranging the display of gingernut biscuits.
Enter Mr Daddy Papersurfer.
Milly: “Oh, Sir Papersurfer sir …..” [getting rather flustered, whilst dropping a curtsy and three packets of gingernuts] ” what news I have for you! We have just been delivered of some Mother’s Pride, sliced, no less. Wither my shankles but tis the bestest thing since I don’t know when!”
DP: “Oh!”
Milly: “ Why sir, I feel that I might burst!”
DP: “Please don’t do that Milly – my eye still suffers from the time your bodice exploded and pinged buttons in all directions.”
[DP rearranges his waxed moustaches, which are beginning to wane.] (See what he’s done there? Bless. LO,TG Ed)
Milly: “and what is more or less, we have delivery taken of cartons containing oranges that have been juiced!!!! Lawks-a- mercy – what will they think of next?”
DP: [rather sagely, stroking his refreshed moustaches] “No one knows, Milly, no one knows.”
Milly: “Willst thou be blogging of such things, Sir Papersurfer sir?”
DP: [like a man who knows his onions] “I fear not Milly – by my troth, the world is not ready I wot.”
[there follows a long pause …………………………………………………………….. ...……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………]
DP: “I’ll have some gingernuts tho’, if you will be so kind.”
The curtain comes down whilst Milly mills around the display. DP stands still as though brain dead. (His devotion to Stanislavski is total. And I mean TOTAL. Lo,TG Ed)
The End
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Stumble It!
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Handsome man: “But why oh why…”
(having entered stage left)
“…is there nerry a merry comment to be seen?!? Methinks perhaps the audience hath drifted into a sea of indifference…”
(exit stage right clutching a small box of Crunchy Nut Cornflakes and a Snickers bar)
I had no idea there was an Act 2 …… I’d better buy some more sweeties to rustle ……
“wither my shankles”?
A word rarely used …… in fact, I’m pretty sure this is the first time it has been used …….
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[Retrieved from spam just for you - almost your first comment without a typo]
I wanted to post a blank comment …. tsk I think it is being moderated.
You don’t ‘alf talk funny down Souff …..
Tis because we are civilised and havest been edicated proper ………
*shakes head in disbelief*
Art can often take the breath away and leave one speechless – *takes low bow and sidles off sideways*
..
Have you buried yourself in snow again Nooter?
You should have made this post another video! I loved the props in the last one. LOL!
I’d need someone to play Milly – if interested you’ll have to supply your own bodice ……
I want video of the exploding bodice.
Lo, she is a terrible Goddess has banned that sort of video from my computer …….. oh well
Could you pick up my order of 4 oz. of Old Curiosity when you’re next in that shoppe?
Of course, always willing to help the elderly – tee hee
I’m a bit worried about you Daddy P – I think the Blue Moon had more of an effect on you than you realise…