LOG – STARSHIP GRANNY SMITH

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Stardate – 1.1.2666

The plan has worked! The last human Adam Ching Xu has died – Earth is ours to play with again. We must do better this time. They knew they’d got it wrong but refused to change. We had to clear the playing field without resorting to total destruction.

Our cunning plan to give Apple our alien technology has finally paid off. Oh, the joy; the satisfaction; the symmetry! The first human was named Adam and everything was spoiled by an apple. The last human, also an Adam, was betrayed by – Apple.

Oh how vigilantly the humans concentrated on computer viruses when the real danger was biological. No-one suspected the touch screen. Everyone shared our devices. The fingers transferred the virus.

It’s taken a long time but eventually with the iPad 6573 every single person had been in contact with one of our evil machines.

The Catalytic Beacon was activated.

Everyone collapsed and died.

The new seed stock is ready and will be delivered after all evidence of the last incumbents has been eradicated.

From the lessons we’ve learnt I feel sure that she’ll be a vast improvement.

(You mean they’re still using the touch screen in the 2660’s? How quaint. Lo, TG Ed)

[Have a great weekend recovering from the Wedding!]

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