Predictive text? Whatever next,
A barman who’s a seer?
“You don’t want that – for your nightcap
You ought to have a beer.”
I’ll be in and out, without a doubt,
My bed all through the night.
If I mishap I’ll curse that chap,
I know this isn’t right.
“I’d like a malt, and crisps with salt,
Don’t tell me what to have.
You don’t know me, I’ll have to pee
I’m really not a chav.”
He looked gutted – then he tutted,
“Why not try a lager?
And with the brew, ‘specially for you
A quarter pounder burgher.”
“This will not do, you lack a clue
About the size of bladders.”
A quick rethink – forget the drink.
“A game of Snakes and Ladders?”
.
Stumble It!
5 Comments
why did he offer you a German with your lager?? where you dreaming? am I dreaming?
I think it was like offering Green Shield Stamps …. [oooo, that was a long time ago wasn't it? probably before your time ..... tee hee]
what’s a chav?
That is a very complicated question ….. probably best to have a Google …… you’re good at that!
I do remember them briefly … sticking them in a book,,,
Didn’t the co-op do pink divvy ones??
Probably – never went into a COOP until a few years ago …… one of my favourite shops now – they do a very nice wholemeal loaf ………
Mine too ….
….. and, of course, some of the wine is quite drinkable ……….
if they have it yours you must try ‘ Grupo Baron de Ley – Cortes Mayor 2008′ the most excellent rioja rosado I have ever tasted …. in fact I am about to pour myself a glass… mmmmm
I had no idea you drank! ….. *collapses in a state of shock*
only occasionally and in moderation of course!
A fine example I’m sure …… [of what, I'm not so sure of course ........ tee hee]
I am heeding the title of this post!!!
Weak bladder as well? ….. oh dear, and at your age too …….. shame …… *tut tut*
ha ha .. the title not the content…
I was once in a bar ‘oop Norf’ when a young lady asked for a lager and lime, only to be informed by the barkeep that they didn’t serve cocktails.
You could be in trouble for that ….. not sure …… I’ll just wait and see if 70’s comes back …… mind you, she’s probably legless by now ……..
70s is so easy to beat at Scrabble when she’s had a skinful. *runs away and hides*
okay okay you boys … firstly GW …. don’t you sourvern boyz try and come oop Norff and try and convert us to fancy cocktails… we have our own cocktails of stout wit a lager top….. lime is for you sourvern wimps!
Next DP….. no I am not well not on a school night tsk!!
and finaly GW … I am winning *dancing* you are losing *dancing* and DP is not even attempting to play lol
Is ‘dancing’ an anagram of ’scrabble’? – I never knew that ……. things must be very different North of Tunbridge Wells …..
things are certainly very different … we is almost civilised
I was momentarily confused, because the photo you used was one I was sure I’d seen at another blog.
I think it’s the image canucklehead used to identify himself around and about the internet. I guess that must mean you’re a bit of a canucklehead DP… which only makes sense since the post is about beer…
I’m terribly sorry I confused you Fraccy …… thank heavens it’s a rare occurrence ……. tee hee