“May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions – Joey Adams”


Since the beginning of the New Year Lo, she is a terrible Goddess has been behaving like a woman possessed.
She decided to clamber in and out of all the kitchen cupboards cleaning and re-organising them. She’s been like Anthea Turner high on bleach.
I thought this was all well and good until the morning when I wandered into the kitchen to prepare my breakfast only functioning on autopilot as I’d had a sleepless night worrying about whether I’d remembered to cancel my subscription to Grouting Fortnightly.
Luckily I noticed that I’d put split peas instead of muesli in my breakfast bowl just as I started to spoon it towards my mouth. I was alerted by the fact I was holding a soup spoon. I was rather pleased that I had noticed as I then had a vision of losing my remaining tooth on the ‘crunch’.
Unfortunately I failed to notice that I’d made my coffee using gravy granules, which would have been fine if I hadn’t added a dishwasher tablet instead of a sugar cube. Looking on the bright side my tooth is now very clean with an alluring sparkle.