HISTORY LESSON – 7

THE TORTOISE OLYMPICS

The first tortoise Olympic Games were held in 1832.

The use of a cannon to start the long jump was banned in 1909, when Archibald ‘Cara Pace’ Thomas the Third couldn’t be found after the event. (Avid Reader, you’re thinking the time scale doesn’t add up – a strict time table cannot be adhered to because of certain difficulties inherent in completing the marathon. Lo,TG Ed)

The present champion of this event, Thomas Orpington the Very Buff (Now, he was a good egg! Lo,T ……), holds the world record of 12mm [unassisted].

The 100 yard dash of 1932 was declared a tie after an exciting photo finish. The decision was taken after a two hour delay when the film from a spectator’s Box Brownie was rushed to Boots, to be developed and printed. For the technically minded the shutter speed was 1/10 of a second.

Feeding the competitors watercress was banned only 6 years ago, after drug tests on the terrapin water polo team proved positive.

The record for the high jump is still up for grabs, as is the 100 inch hurdles.

The javelin, discus and shot putt records are all held by Doris, although her being ambidextrous has raised questions of unfair advantage.

Beach volleyball has been banned because of the rather revealing outfits – shell suits were deemed to be more suitable, but the French team objected. (Naturellement. The French object to everything on principle. Sylvie excepted. Lo,TG Ed)

The British basketball team in action.

This year’s marathon is available to watch on BBC iPlayer, with the caveat that you could exceed permitted bandwidth.

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[There is a DP guest post over at Evan’s Blog – I’ll let you draw your own conclusions]

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