THE TORTOISE OLYMPICS
The first tortoise Olympic Games were held in 1832.
The use of a cannon to start the long jump was banned in 1909, when Archibald ‘Cara Pace’ Thomas the Third couldn’t be found after the event. (Avid Reader, you’re thinking the time scale doesn’t add up – a strict time table cannot be adhered to because of certain difficulties inherent in completing the marathon. Lo,TG Ed)
The present champion of this event, Thomas Orpington the Very Buff (Now, he was a good egg! Lo,T ……), holds the world record of 12mm [unassisted].
The 100 yard dash of 1932 was declared a tie after an exciting photo finish. The decision was taken after a two hour delay when the film from a spectator’s Box Brownie was rushed to Boots, to be developed and printed. For the technically minded the shutter speed was 1/10 of a second.
Feeding the competitors watercress was banned only 6 years ago, after drug tests on the terrapin water polo team proved positive.
The record for the high jump is still up for grabs, as is the 100 inch hurdles.
The javelin, discus and shot putt records are all held by Doris, although her being ambidextrous has raised questions of unfair advantage.
Beach volleyball has been banned because of the rather revealing outfits – shell suits were deemed to be more suitable, but the French team objected. (Naturellement. The French object to everything on principle. Sylvie excepted. Lo,TG Ed)
The British basketball team in action.
This year’s marathon is available to watch on BBC iPlayer, with the caveat that you could exceed permitted bandwidth.
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[There is a DP guest post over at Evan's Blog - I'll let you draw your own conclusions]
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6 Comments
You’ll be doing a guest spot at http://madauntbernard.blogspot.com/ next I suppose?
One of my favourite blogs to stalk ….. very slowly, like a tortoise on sedatives …….
Drugs to shelled animals. Reminds me of a shell bong I saw once.
They need to come out of their shells sometimes I guess ……..
Marijuana tends to sedate turtles I’d imagine. Haven’t ever seen a stoned one before.
I’ve heard of turtle soup and stone soup, but not stoned turtles. Or was that a record company for one of those British bands in 60s?
I used to know people who worked in a place called Crunchy Frog – I seem to remember it was an animation studio …..
Sylvie don’t look
Good point – I shouldn’t have mentioned that – mmmm, a deep fried Froglet – tee hee
…with catsup in little silvery cups!
I wonder how she is? She’s in England at the moment, hiding somewhere …..
The TG has just pointed out the Buff Orpington connection as well – I blame my subconscious. I hope Mad Aunt Bernard doesn’t go ….. mmmmm ……… mad ….
Oooh yes, well spotted Lo,TG.
She’s got eyes in the back of her head …… although cunningly disguised ….
I love that last photo
Sweet isn’t it? I don’t suppose they’re ….!!!? ….. no, surely not …..
If they are, it must be an illegal pedophile relationship.
I’d need to see birth certificates before making a judgement – some adult tortoises are tiny ……
are you absolutely sure TG edited this post ….. ??
Morning – he’s not sure of anything it it was more than five minutes ago…….. However, yes, I did. (Gallic type shrug.)
Are you still on the honey & lemon?
good morning TG ….. you certainly have your work cut out don’t you [you missed a 'G' off or had you fallen asleep reading such a fascinating article
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feeling a lot better …thank you [honey & lemon is a great cure]
Just forty winks, and, Peabrain, I understood it to be sympathy.
I do hope you’re not having a go at the TG. The last time that happened the after-shocks continued for months ……. actually years …… oh dear, oh dear, oh dear ……..
tsk DP how could you even suggest such a thing ????
A moment of madness – forgive me …… *looks round warily*
*snigger*
i will bring the lawn chairs and some popcorn, we will make an afternoon out of this yet.
You wouldn’t sling a barrel of brandy round your neck as well would you? ………. just askin’ …..
I tried to convince my wife to let us take the kids to such a historical event. She declined, though, citing her fear that the 5 year old might miss her first day of college. [Roll of the eyes and shrug of the shoulders] As usual… Goddess wins.
Goddesses win even when they lose ……. which is as it should be of course. [So much to learn ..... * shakes head with wry smile*]
Lovely drawing over at Evan’s place DP. I dare not leave a comment there, Evan is only 13 (oh my… as is my youngest) and we should at all cost, prevent him from visiting the fracas blog.
Very wise young Fraccy. I’m trying to remember where that drawing is – it must be up in the loft somewhere ……..