I have always been interested in the history of words.
Apparently, a long time ago, there was a Viking family that lived in Rye, in East Sussex; which isn’t that far from where I live now.
The youngest son was a bit of a tearaway and used to disappear for days at a time in his tiny sailing boat. He always said he was fishing and indeed he often returned with quantities of fish, but he also brought back presents for his mother . (Harumph. Anybody out there listening? LO,TG Ed)
Arriving home looking rather pleased with himself, he would present her with silk stockings [long before they were invented!], strange substances that when cooked in griddle cakes made his mother feel rather light headed, bottles of cognac, flint powered pipe lighters [she had several, rather natty clay pipes, nicely decorated], expensive smelling perfumes and sometimes something he called ‘muesli’.
“Oh, Lars, you are so good to me” exclaimed Ma, and fussed over him; treating him to pickled herring and unpickled cauliflower. (No wonder he was so good to her!! Lo,TG Ed)
Eventually Lars, during a rather wild gathering in the local hostelry, began bragging about his exploits – which as the Avid Reader can no doubt see, must have involved illegal trips across the channel, picking up goods that should have had excise charged on them.
Unfortunately there was a Custom and Excise official sitting moodily in the corner of the pub and, momentarily forgetting the extremely tricky practical problems involved with pursuing the objects of his sexual desires – he was very attracted to wasps, with bees coming a close second – he arrested young Lars and hauled him off to jail.
His mother, on hearing the news, ran pell mell through the town, desperate to see her beloved son.
“Oh, my darling boy – if you hadn’t been so smug, Lars ……” whereupon she collapsed of an apoplexy, dead as a door nail.
The local rag got hold of the story of course, and with the usual accuracy of the press misquoted the last words that Mum ever uttered, so that ’smug Lars’ became synonymous with the practice of evading excise duty, and the word ‘smugglers’ entered the English language.
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Post script: Budgie smugglers is/are something else completely. (Yes. Horrible, horrible horrible. Lo,TG Ed)
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Sounds perfectly reasonable to me. Words have to be invented sometime, and it seems that word was indeed of a Viking origin.
Now. Please make sure the dear little “nooter” doesn’t come visiting my blog today.
I have little control over Nooter I’m afraid. The last time I saw him I told him to “sit”. Either he misheard me or he’s an aspiring critic, but it took me ages to clear up the mess ….
errm…………. “momentarily forgetting the extremely tricky practical problems involved with pursuing the objects of his sexual desires – he was very attracted to wasps, with bees coming a close second” – ????
Have I missed something here teach?
Was this a common perversion in smuggling days?
An item that ended up on the cutting room floor when they were making ‘Pirates of the Caribbean 3 – Bees’n'Booty ‘ perhaps?
And did this Customs man end up with a nasty case of hives?
Lastly,am I asking too many questions?
There are many perversions pervading the world. I need only remind you of the phrase ‘horses for courses’. I would go into a full explanation ….. but it’s rather coarse…….. and yes, you are …….
PS – ‘Having a bee in your bonnet’ doesn’t refer to a hat – I’ll let your imagination work out which part of a chaps anatomy this refers to …… *nods sagely and returns to reading Swallows and Amazons*
That still doesn’t explain why the mother used the word “Lars” in the first place…
The boy was named Lars because, after a difficult birth, Ma said in a rather thick Viking accent “That be the lars tyme I gotten thru that Berg [her husband]. We shall be naming him Lars to remember you to keep OFF ME!” Her husband turned to cake for comfort and exploded two years later.
Thanks DP, just bookmarked your site under History (my intelligent browser has a special button for ‘history’).
More cake anyone?
Oh dear – I’m history then …… any gingernuts going?
I’m not sure if gingernuts is going or not, but I’m following him on twitter.
Who’s Nick Page? Is he worth following? Will I get arrested if I follow him? ….. so many questions …..
What can I say?
No really … what can I say?? lol
Another success!!!! If only the ‘real’ people in your life knew the secret of keeping you quiet ….. ooooo, I could make a fortune!!!!!
[Feeling better today I hope]
humpf….. ok then
So what are you trying to say that the fine upstanding Officer of HM Customs & Excise had a fixation for wasps as he had a face like one chewing them ????
Why would you want to put a budgie down your grunges?? Is it a suvern fetish ???
[nit so bad thanks
]
it’s because we favour the skimpier undergarment you see 70s, not enough room for ferrets!
oooo TMI GW ….. lol
Please note the time – I have JUST finished working!!!!! …. anyway, GW seems to have offered a full explanation for all members of the male of the species ……. excellent ……
goodness DP what a long day for you… you must be in need of a little lie down …..
I did sneak a sneaky one just after lunch ….. but don’t tell anyone …….
Okay – but who was Pell Mell and did he deserve to be run through the town to see Lars? Was he a relative or what?
Pell Mell was Ma’s professional name ….. need I say more? ……. well, the money for pickled herring had to come from somewhere ……..
it’s good to learn something new every day… and today? i’ve learned that you need more medication!
Ooooo …….. yes please …… I love sweeties ……
I’ve never heard of anyone being attracted to wasps or bees.
It’s quite common apparently …… as I’m NOT common, I can’t really comment ……… tee hee
Gosh, and to think all this time I’d thought “getting a buzz” meant something else.
Obviously, I continue to work for you because the learning experience far outweighs the salary.
I know things that even I don’t know I know …..
I’m still trying to get my head around “tricky practical problems involved with pursuing the objects of his sexual desires.” This thought needs quite a bit of meditation and introspection.
But oooo, mother or not, me likey gifts. Are beauteous and aromatic plants like these subject to excise tax? I want one.
Love your warped history lessons, DaddyP.
Unfortunately young Lizza there are more ….. I’ll apologize now just to save time …….
Everything is taxable …… apparently …… which is a shame really ….. including BEER!!!!!!
In the ale-house on Rye Harbour quay,
Sat hated Exciseman Meredith Tree.
To all customers humour,
The barkeep spread rumour,
“Tis said ee’s betrothed to a bee!”
I see you’ve been doing some intensive research as well GW …… excellent
how misunderstood
was the man who would
protect the shores
from those who whores
the scent of the smuggler !!!
This is turning into a poetic tome …… I believe my work is almost done ……. [and about time too - tee hee]
Tomorrow, we’ll have a singsong …….
omg do we have to wear head scarves like in sing-along- sound of music….?
Brilliant idea …… I’ll come as Mother Superior ……. I’ll go and try on my costume [which is becoming a bit of a habit - tee hee - ooooo, I wish I had some Baileys and then I could go as Wimpole of the Bailey - ALL RISE!!! *hic* .... sorry]
shall I be Maria then .. although if you like we could do Joesph (not many female roles there!… or Mama Mia …YEAH….. here I go again.. my my ….)
Any excuse for an Abba moment ……… tsk
Perhaps it’s a regional variant, but the story I heard had the young man unnamed. Being so very fond of his dear Ma, he felt no other woman in town was worthy of her level of praise and threatened to strip them of their glory. During his revelry in the pub, he threatened one young woman that was quite a physical gal and she took the young man out with ease. Ma ran in crying “If only you weren’t inclined to strip hers!” Yours sounds more plausible, though…
Mine might be more plausible but yours is more interesting – were ostrich feathers involved? Did he tussle with bustles?