I have been making a very careful study of the cave paintings to be found in Milton Keynes and have made a remarkable discovery concerning the invention of the wheel.
Ugh the Caveman was very fond of biscuits. Not gingernuts of course, that would be ridiculous. They were an oatmeal confection cooked in hairy mammoth fat and flavoured with blackberries and left-overs.
In the early days when Ugh only had a couple of children he could say to Mrs Ugh –
“Ugh ugh ugh” – roughly translated as “Pass the biscuits my goddess, I’m truly famished” and she would hand one to him.
Later on when Ugh had fathered 26 children and he sat at one end of the table and Mrs Ugh the other with all the children in between and he said –
“Ugh ugh ugh”, Mrs Ugh started throwing the biscuit along the length of the table.
One day, happenchance dictated that the biscuit landed on it’s side and rolled the full length of the table straight into Mr. Ugh’s eager hand.
“Ugh?” said Mr. Ugh.
“Ugh ugh ugh” said Mrs Ugh – roughly translated as “I’ve done the hard work, now you try and work out the possibilities – personally I’m thinking wheelbarrows, prams and cars.”
“Ugh?” said Mr. Ugh ….. and nothing happened for about 2000 years.
All the Mrs Ughs during this period learnt a new word …… “Tsk”
[A reconstruction of the first roller-skate using gingernuts as they are the only biscuits available at the Cliff Top Residence at the moment. This design appeared quite early on in the development of the wheel although it took several centuries for Mr Ugh to realize that one for each foot might be a good idea].
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Stumble It!
7 Comments
What a remarkable example of happenstance that happenchance was! Of course, it wasn’t until the early Neanderthal period that the residents of Milton Keynes learnt to only occupy caves in a grid pattern.
Indeed …… on a 20 x 20 grid which worked for everyone except for 9 Toes Ugh and Stumpy Ugh who always managed to get lost …….
The Ughs also discovered a curious creature only found in the Milton Keynes area, later to be named Bos Taurus Caementum. They eventually gave up hunting these animals, finding the flesh unpalatable and the milk yields non-existent…..
Quantitative determination of lipids in the dental pulp of Bos taurus during development – an ungulate of the imagination – a rare creature indeed …..
tsk…indeed.
Peabrains haven’t learned much over the years have they Twinny? …… if only we weren’t so damned attractive – tee hee
do you know I can quite believe that bit of history …..
If the Mrs Ughs didn’t spend so much time chatting and knitting and actually got on with useful stuff, the world would have progressed so much quicker …… just sayin’ [and hidin']
…… and don’t start on about how hard it is to have 26 children! ….. I had 2 and hardly felt a thing – tee hee
all I can say is that with his attitude you can bet your bottom dollar maybe only one or 2 of the 26 where his *snigger*
Oooo, I hadn’t thought of that …… I wonder why you did? *raises eyebrow and looks quizzical*
I think dear fraccy sis is (having been a single mum and done a fine job of it) just used to being sharp as a tack and having to think through all aspects of a situation.
I hope that puts to rest, those raised eyebrows. I’ll have you know that kind of thinking won’t go far in your attempts to become a Knight (or a Saint for that matter….)
I’m used to goddesses thinking through all aspects …… I quite often hear all aspects being explained to me actually, for which I’m extremely grateful of course ………*ducks head and hides shins*
Thank you dear Frac … I couldn’t have put it better myself
That’s why I employ her 70’s – it saves everyone from thinking – tee hee
Well… the powers that be obviously knew you needed guidance. This is all so refreshing. It proves things are just as they’re supposed to be!
Why are you hiding your shins? Forget to shave? I hear Kevin’s got some razor you can try….
(snicker…)
Just in case the TG’s explanation of why exactly I should be grateful has the usual conclusion ….. I learn very quickly you know …. for a peabrain ……
I can’t imagine how Mr. Ugh could realize a rollerskate for each foot was the sensible thing to do… and yet in this current day and age, some folks seem think a lady can manage with only one flip-flop.
I guess evolution hasn’t reached/affected everyone yet.
{{{lmao – he walked right into that one}}}
Ha de ha ….. I have sound fiscal reasons to exercise caution in not being overly generous actually ….. and a very bad memory of course …….
… not to mention that ‘wind’ problem…
{{{which has nothing to do with why he doesn’t send shoes… but it’s always good to remind/warn others anyway…}}}
howcum you call cookies biscuits?
What do you care Nooter ….. they’re all snacks!!!!!
Who knew that throwing stuff at your husband could be so productive! Thanks for the idea!
My pleasure Kirsten [do start with something soft though ....... until you've got your eye in!]
I find it looks like the Flinstone’s car!
I think that that proves the veracity of my postulated theory Stinky – tee hee