HELP NEEDED

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Lo, she is a terrible Goddess has just gone to the hairdressers. I’ve got two hours to re-think the various strategies I’ve tried using over 45 years of too much bliss of how to react on her return.

I’ve tried giving an honest opinion. I’ve tried giving no opinion. I’ve tried giving someone else’s opinion. I’ve pretended I’ve been possessed and only spoken in Swahili. I’ve fainted. I’ve wrapped my hand in a bandage, covered it in tomato sauce and rushed out on her return shouting “Gotta go to A & E!!!” only to be collared to give my opinion when I tried to sneak in two hours later.
Perhaps I ought to get  my inspiration from Downton Abbey.  “You’ve done something jolly with your hair!” but I fear that that won’t cut the mustard.

If anyone can offer some sound advice I’d be very grateful. Whilst I’m waiting for a helpful reply I’m going into a coma.

5 Comments

  1. Posted September 26, 2012 at 2:50 pm | Permalink

    Try: “Nice, dear. How do you like it?” Not really committal, and if she goes into a rant about how the hair dresser is an idiot and the color is wrong and now she has to go back and get it fixed, you can agree and pat her shoulder and administer ginger nuts and gin. If she says, “Oh, this is the best cut I’ve ever had” you can break out the champagne…

    Good luck.

    daddyp replied:

    *Note to self – buy some gin and champagne*

  2. Posted September 27, 2012 at 4:24 am | Permalink

    buy a pair of asbestos trousers. set your foot on fire. it’s about all you’ve got left….

    daddyp replied:

    Been there and done that … I think the problem was mixing the gin and the champagne.

  3. Posted September 27, 2012 at 2:12 pm | Permalink

    Just say, Wow. Beautiful.

    And say it sincerely.

    Or else!

    daddyp replied:

    I’m always sincere after just the right amount of gin and champagne. I’m sensing a theme here … [smooth segue into next post – tee hee]

  4. Posted September 27, 2012 at 9:11 pm | Permalink

    You must have said the right thing as you managed to post again … phew!!

    daddyp replied:

    I was sincerely sincere in my admiration for what was and forever will be something that was … and is … extremely jolly.

  5. Posted September 28, 2012 at 4:49 am | Permalink

    I realize this is late, but two hours is plenty of time to head to the local pub and get thoroughly sauced. Any ill received comments can, therefore, be plausibly blamed on your current state of *hic* intoxication. In the absence of a pub, gin and champagne will do a nauseatingly sufficient job.

    daddyp replied:

    If I reached the state of *hic* intoxication that you propose my life wouldn’t be worth living anyway … *sigh*

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