“What the ………!”

I sat bolt upright in bed and then remembered that I had a very important interview with Uma Thurman about why an ageing git was so attractive to goddesses.

I jumped out of bed, forgetting that I’d parked my skateboard there in case I needed a quick getaway.

I scooted across the bedroom and managed to avoid the antlers of the stuffed deer’s head on the wall. Whooping with triumph, I suddenly remembered that I’d left my undercrackers on the floor. I swerved past them, kicked the door open and shot down the hall.

I came to a beautiful stop just by the kettle.

I started filling it up, having unplugged it first, put it on and started searching for the cafetiére. I opened the wall cupboard where’s it’s usually kept, and then remembered that it was in the dishwasher.

I found it at last, measured out the coffee and poured the hot water onto the grounds.

“If I forget to wash this up afterwards the TG will have grounds for divorce” I thought …… and giggled.

Thinking about the bacon sandwich I’d be enjoying soon, I took my first slug of coffee. It went down the wrong way. I started choking ……….