Lo, she is a terrible Goddess insists that I let my deodorant dry before I put a shirt on.

One lovely warm morning last week I had decided to dry my armpits in the garden: I was wandering around admiring the plants whilst flapping my arms – looking a bit like a vulture that was trying to take-off after a particularly heavy lunch – slightly embarrassing actually.

I suddenly noticed that Aloe Vera was staring at me from her garden. Pretending I hadn’t seen her I immediately stiffened my arms and started re-enacting a scene from the Battle of Britain, swooping round the garden and going “rat-tat-tat” at appropriate intervals. This achieved two things – my armpits were still being dried and I didn’t look like an idiot.

I kept glancing over to see if she was still there and eventually, feeling rather tired, I had to come up with a cunning plan so I could go indoors and finish dressing.

Suddenly I knew how to get out of this rather awkward situation.

I yelled “THUNDERBIRDS ARE STOP!!!!!” and, at the same time, I seamlessly changed my impression of a Spitfire into Thunderbird 1 coming into land. I glided smoothly through the patio doors and out of sight – brilliant!

The TG spotted me as I came in.

“You’re looking rather sweaty Peabrain. You’d better have another shower …… and don’t forget to put on some more deodorant.”

The best laid plans of mice and men ………


(On a totally unrelated subject, does anyone know how to remove stiff deodorant stains from shirts? Lo,TG Ed)


Match of the Day