The TG has instructed me to win this fabulous FMB competition …… so I’m a tad nervous.

This competition is sponsored by Pertuity Direct who, apparently, offer loans at very reasonable rates.

The question to answer is “If you borrowed $25,000 from Pertuity Direct what on-line business would you start up?”

Easy peasy!!!!! – the sale of homing pigeons @ dp’spigeonemporium.con !!!!!!

I have come up with a cunning plan so that every bird that gets sold, however well trained by the purchaser, will always fly straight home to me and can then be re-sold to another punter!!! I know – brilliant!!!!!

Obviously, the full secret of my cunning plan can only be revealed to the guys at Pertuity Direct [but it involves an addiction to poppy seeds – shssssh] .

The $25,000 would be used to buy 200 perfect pigeons and provide them with luxury accommodation [including a modest shed for myself, furnished with a sofa, mini-bar, satellite TV, internet facilities and pool room] and to pay Mrs Jarvis, down the road, to set up a really splendid web site on Blogger.

It is no flight of fancy to assume weekly sales of 100 birds at £20 each, providing a revenue of £2000  a week which, after expenses and repayments to Pertuity Direct, leaves me with exactly $2000 a week. Spookily that happens to be exactly what I need for the repayments on the yacht I’ve got my eye on.

This makes extremely sound fiscal sense as you can see [it’s in black and white so it must be accurate].

I do hope that Pertuity Direct look kindly on my application for a loan and are excited at the prospect of working with the great Daddy Papersurfer.

Ooooo ……. I just heard someone say “bird shit” – excellent!!!! – another lucrative market !!!! – guano !!!

OK, phoning the yacht company NOW ………… whoosh