The TG has instructed me to win this fabulous FMB competition …… so I’m a tad nervous.
This competition is sponsored by Pertuity Direct who, apparently, offer loans at very reasonable rates.
The question to answer is “If you borrowed $25,000 from Pertuity Direct what on-line business would you start up?”
Easy peasy!!!!! – the sale of homing pigeons @ dp’spigeonemporium.con !!!!!!
I have come up with a cunning plan so that every bird that gets sold, however well trained by the purchaser, will always fly straight home to me and can then be re-sold to another punter!!! I know – brilliant!!!!!
Obviously, the full secret of my cunning plan can only be revealed to the guys at Pertuity Direct [but it involves an addiction to poppy seeds – shssssh] .
The $25,000 would be used to buy 200 perfect pigeons and provide them with luxury accommodation [including a modest shed for myself, furnished with a sofa, mini-bar, satellite TV, internet facilities and pool room] and to pay Mrs Jarvis, down the road, to set up a really splendid web site on Blogger.
It is no flight of fancy to assume weekly sales of 100 birds at £20 each, providing a revenue of £2000 a week which, after expenses and repayments to Pertuity Direct, leaves me with exactly $2000 a week. Spookily that happens to be exactly what I need for the repayments on the yacht I’ve got my eye on.
This makes extremely sound fiscal sense as you can see [it’s in black and white so it must be accurate].
I do hope that Pertuity Direct look kindly on my application for a loan and are excited at the prospect of working with the great Daddy Papersurfer.
Ooooo ……. I just heard someone say “bird shit” – excellent!!!! – another lucrative market !!!! – guano !!!
OK, phoning the yacht company NOW ………… whoosh
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Stumble It!
10 Comments
Your birdbrain idea makes perfect sense to me!
Olga!!!! I thought you and Speedy had gone to bed. Anyway, it’s a brilliant idea, sort of perpetual motion for the fiscal world. Everyone gets ripped off and the blame gets shifted to the birds …… even if the shit starts flying, there’s money in it. Fancy a trip on the yacht as soon as I’ve bought it?
gosh you would ruffle some feathers with that plan…..
the pigeon to dollar exchange rate isn’t that good is it???
It’s a flyer I tell you ….. there’s a fortune to be made using old fashioned communication devices coupled with the Interweave ….. BRILLIANT!!!!
……. and somebody else’s money – tee hee
that reminds me…. I must fertilise the gardenias next weekend
???!!! Such dedication, Nursie.
Is your mind boggling as well TG?
DP, are you looking for a business partner? I can provide you with a bird catching machine, save you some money on buying the pigeons. The model number is Muggie the bengal cat AC2D9001, this machine is run on roasted chicken. Give me a call if you’re interested.
Does Muggie ruffle feathers? It would make sound financial sense to get the pigeons for free but they must still be capable of flight ……
Could I take a closer look at your business plan sir?
Would you like to borrow a microscope or a straight jacket? – tee hee …… how’s Froglet today?
I like the way you dove straight into the challenge. The idea is still a bit rough but it would be OK if you smoothed off the burred edges.
I believe there’s some way I can put your IP address in something or other so that you get spammed automatically ……. I might be gone some time ……. tee hee
A cunning plan that is almost foolproof. I will post a photo tomorrow (if it ever stops raining) that will make your yacht broker a little wary.
I still can’t reply to comments, so i’ll do it here.
Don’t know much about Viv Stanshall, I wish you wouldn’t keep doing this, now i’ve gotta research his life! I gave up sleeping long ago anyway…….
Moderated Archie’s comment and it disappeared?????
Abby woke up BTW, you seem to have an animal attraction to the fairer sex DP, if I send you £370,000.29 for that noo yot, will you tell me the secret?
If you do have a look at Viv’s life you’ll find it’s fascinating ….. and very sad.
How did you know that was the exact amount needed? ….. very spooky……. give Abby my love ….. tee hee
I’d like to give Abby my, no musn’t go there, all those Goddesses will be on my back, ooh, maybe…………………..
You won’t be able to go anywhere if you give your bike away …….
Do you think you said Pertuity Direct enough times?
I hope so – tee hee. [The TG really wants one of these and I'm crap at this sort of thing - the commercial world doesn't seem to like me very much ..... and quite frankly I don't blame them]
If I find out that you caused that bird to crap on my head–
But- then again- that was a few years ago.
And we are in different countries…
So, it might NOT have been you…. My bad…
I don’t think it was my fault ….. but then you never know – tee hee heeeeeee
I’m watchin’ you, Surfer…