For many years now I have tried to get Lo, she is a terrible Goddess to treat me properly – with little success.
Last week I came up with a cunning plan. I secretly purchased a tape called “How to turn your goddess into a character from Pride and Prejudice”; such a snappy title I knew it would be good.
Every night this week, as the TG drifted into a deep sleep, I played the tape next to her shell-like.
“Oh, Mr Darcy, shall we have this dance?” repeated over and over again.
.
.
This morning she sat bolt upright in bed, stared straight into my eyes [quite tricky actually, as my eyes tend to ‘settle’ when I’ve been asleep - not necessarily that evenly] and said,
“Oi Mr Arsy, you’re a complete dunce!”
and then collapsed back on the pillow ………. smirking.
.
.
Stumble It!
11 Comments
Seems to me the spirit of Elizabeth Bennett lives on in Lo, TG. Thank goodness. I can’t say I picture you a fitting Mr. Darcy though.
I wonder though… is Penfold more like Letitia, Camilla, Georgina or Belle, Alethea?
(Silly me. I’m sure he takes after William or Charles, but it sure is more fun to imagine him as one of the Darcy girls)
Penfold is the nearest thing I have to a daughter …… he still wears dresses occasionally.
Is that your way of telling me you have no idea what I’m talking about? And you a good Brit?
Goodness.
A reference to Cecilia, subtitled Memoirs of an Heiress, the novel by Frances Burney, might have been more confusing – the inspiration for Miss Austen’s novel………. and Penfold looks quite stunning in a dress – [I just like imagining it - tee hee]
[modern novels like Elizabeth Aston's don't count in my book]
Well I know that of course …… and now everyone else does as well – lovely.
……. and Somnambulist – have you got any piccies from the ‘good old days?’ – just asking …….
GASP. Snobbery?
I prefer to think that a book which entertains, allows a person to escape to another place, encourages reading and the expansion of one’s imagination is a good thing regardless of whether it is a “modern” novel or not.
Snobbery doesn’t leave room for enlightenment. Einstein said, “Imagination is more important than knowledge.”
I’ll go with Einstein. Imagination as always gotten me more than snobbery.
I’ve heard of Einstein …….. but I had no idea you were ‘going’ with him – tee hee
Aha… so not only is there snobbery at this new blog, but you think you can dictate when the replies must stop? Well ha! I shall foil you again, and leave my reply anyway.
I have always “gone” with Einstein. We have a connection that transcends time. Mr. Fracas doesn’t mind, in fact… so long as I deal with the things that make one’s head hurt.. he encourages my association with the dear man.
Einstein was so hot his cousin married him.
Someone’s got to say it I suppose – that’s his ‘relative theory’ I guess ……. *groan*
I come from a scientific community family myself that have always tried to lead by example in love, care, acceptance, and forgiveness.
Two first cousins married each other seven times.
LOL, you had to google it you old git. Admit it. You had no idea who Elizabeth Aston, Letitia, Camilla, Alethea, or any of the rest were. You’re such a card. (Or is that head case?)
I’m saying nubbin’ – tee hee hee
As per usual dear old boss… as per usual.
[laughing wildly and
runninghobbling away... drat... this darn surgery will be the end of me yet...]{so far the end seems a wee bit like an infinity boolean loop from this distance. tee hee. Ed: Jo, he is a staple remover}
At least you see all sides if you follow the Boolean path grasshopper.
Talking about hopping – I wonder how Fraccy is today ……..?
Did you call to see if Mr. Fracas changed her bedpan, or in the hospital after she threw it at his head?
I believe that Mr Fraccy is in good odour ….. at the moment ……
John – There was no bedpan. They actually made me get up not two hours after surgery… those
basnaughty people!And honestly… how you could ever think I would throw anything… or be anything but lady-like and the picture of calmness, I’ll never know.
DP – I had a yucky evening. Had a shower rather than dumb ’sponge’ bath things and it wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be. Today, I am bothered a fair bit by the dumb plastic badminton birdie sewn to my insides. Grrr.
You’ll be in fine fettle soon young Fraccy – sweeping the yard, bending down to retrieve papers, fighting the good fight where ever you may be …. I’ll look for some ointment in the interim …..
I knew it!
Ointment?
You’ve given yourself away Colonel Reginald Fotherington-Blogworthy II CEO, MD, ARSE
I swear, on all that is holey [including my under-crackers] that I am NOT and NEVER will be the Colonel …… tsk.
You’re the Frau?
Oh my.
I swear, on all that is holey [including my socks] that I am NOT and NEVER will be the Frau …… tsk
I knew it.
There is something deeply troubling about this thread. Anyway – you know I’m more of a hotpants and boobtube kind of guy…
But do you have trouble with the boob tube falling down on you Penfold? *snigger*
He wears them tight!!!! ….. mmmmmmm, luverly
Hot pants and boob tubes … Pen you should ‘guest’ over in 70s land lol
Will you knit something appropriate (or not appropriate since it seems that’s his preference… lol) for him to ‘guest’ in?
Frac I just thought the hotpants and boob tube (as long as it was sequined) may have the desired effect… however, he may need a little knitted number to keep himself warm…. will be a few weeks before I can put wool to needles tsk….
He’s coming over here soon …… get ‘clucking’ …. I mean ‘clicking’ ………
I’m sure a knitted tube top would look lovely on him. The right stitch would provide the elasicity he needs, don’t you think?
ummm… what exactly is mr darcy bathing in? it looks suspiciously like a substance we have at the gimcrack
It’s rather odd isn’t it? still I like kangaroo-tail soup ………
Nursemyra! You made me laugh… and it HURT.
You’re not supposed to do that for a few more days. (Or is that I’m supposed to stay off the internet for a few more days?)
Laughing is strictly forbidden around here …..
I’m not laughing. Didn’t know the cunning linguist was scroll diving today. Do we draw straws?
I’m going to be cunning all week …… however tiring …….. oh well
You’re place is in the bed between the sheets, WOMAN!.
(I always wanted a way to get away tellin’ her that publicly. tee hee)
I wanted to tell her that as well but didn’t have the courage …… well done John
You’re a gentleman with tact, while I have the ability of always having a convenient sugar high to fall upon.
You know she’s still refusing to send me her underwear.
Keep trying John ……. you know you’re worth it …
I’ve changed the bandage. Would you like me to send the old one?
Rofl.
I hope that’s directed at John ……..
Being color vision deficient means I can’t tell the difference between her poo and blood.
Since I misplaced my glasses you’re the obvious choice.
My nose is bunged up unfortunately ….. over to you …….
We don’tses knows nothin’ ’bout changin’ no bandages!
How did Sméagol get in here?
I refer you back to the diagram on fracas, to see *where* that bandage was in the first place.
Sheesh. Men are so hard to teach anything to.
Oh.. did I say that out loud?
This is why we rely so heavily on goddesses ….. it’s quite a good system I’ve always thought …..
Looked like a female’s rendition of a man’s ‘hmm hmm’ to me. Leaning over to one side and erect.
See, I can remember what that used to be like.
…I think.
Apparently you can’t. I have seen a ‘hmm hmm’ you know. I do not recall, even on a white guy… one looking quite as white as in the picture on my blog.
If yours is… perhaps you should see a doctor? I don’t think it should be.
(Always happy to help a friend)
My place… regarding sheets… is three, and to the wind.
Apparently. According to my blog.
That is a LOT of wind …….
Well you know how things don’t exactly work well for a time after abdominal surgery and all…
*snigger*
tee hee …..
While they were in there they could have taken a ‘load’ out, cause I can see you’re still full of ‘yourself’.
(still teary eyed about images of you on a gurney with mask, gas, and other guys seeing you’re bits other than Mr. Fraccy…grrrr)
I’ve had three kids, a different doctor each time. (One retired, one died, and the last one is still my doctor) My bits have been seen a lot. LOL.
Mr. Fraccy has no say in that until he learns how to doctor properly and not just that play doctor thing.
Rofl
I was there for the birth of both of mine – hardly felt a thing …….
Really? Somehow I had this idea that your being there might have resulted in TG landing one of those bedpans squarely in the center of your forehead.
Perhaps your box softened the pain?
(ouch.. laughter still hurts. drat)
I was really annoyed when Penfold was born – he interrupted one of my favourist TV programmes …. I aimed a bedpan at his head and he ignored me ….
I didn’t realize ‘Strictly Come Dancing’ was on that many years ago…
Actually it was [just 'Come Dancing' in those days] although I doubt that was the programme he interrupted …… I can’t remember what it was now but I do remember that I was watching something ……. anything to help the TG of course – tee hee
audaces fortuna iuvat or fortes fortuna iuvat ….nil desperandum
Yawn .. morning……
Oh btw have you been out ‘frotting’ with that title?
Tee hee – your brain is working well – for once. I hope nobody rubs you up the wrong way today …….
…he said ‘rub’. breeeeeeeeeee!
Rub rub rub rub rub …… I love drawing classes!
I used to worry about you two …. now I know my worries were justified lol
breeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Please continue worrying ……. it makes me feel safer ……..
Never doubt yourself where it comes to the understanding of those two. You’re a fraccy sis, and a fanzine editor. There’s just no beating that. It means you’re right… all the time.
Mark that down somewhere. The certificate is on its way.
Don’t hold your breath, 70’s. She sent me mine…amounted to a do-it-yourself tattoo kit.
Even my wife hasn’t seen it, it’s THAT well hidden.
DP ~ you are never safe ….. {{{EL}}}
Dear Frac ~ it is stored now on my hard drive for ever (or until this old boy keels over)
John~ do you have a thing about French cheese btw?? just askin’!
I need to do a videoblog of me doing ‘breeee’. It loses something in the translation.
…breeee! Breeeeeeeeee!
(see what I mean)
John ~ a video would be great… a reminder to self ……next night school course learn American as a foreign language *snigger*
x
Hmmm. I could call you up on the teleophone and let you hear it person to person, no?
DP always reverses the charges after enticing me to let my finger do the walking.
my number is x directory if I could remember what it was I would give it to you .. however, many call centres in the East seem to have it on their books tsk!!
70’s,
Am I the only one of the two of us commenting that ‘may’ not be fully dressed at the moment?
[70's is fossicking in her drawers for a loin cloth/dish cloth/mansized hankie.....]
Oh good everything seems to be just fine ….. all quite normal ….. I think I’ll have my breakfast now ……..
Do you eat your offals sans ivories or do you chew your porridge with them?
I hardly ever wear the darn things …… luckily I’m not vain ……
next night school course learn American as a foreign language
I think there’s an even more specialized course in learning “John” available. I’ll check it out for you sis.
Thanks hun
… I wonder if you can get it on DVD and learn as you drive??
I’m on it. I’ll need your mailing address though. I wonder if there’s one about old gits?
I’m just pleased to see you….
Latin Diva …… excellent young Diane. There will be a little Latin all week ….. I’m trying to raise standards …….. some hope ………
I loved Latin. I was really disppointed when they stopped teaching it in my son’s school.
I heard at the weekend that Bournemouth Council (and some others) are banning all Latin phrases from official communications. Among the things to be banned are e.g., etc., i.e., vice versa, status quo, and more.
Whilst I’m all for banning Status Quo, this is political correctness gone mad…we should start a campaign against this, use Latin phrases wherever possible – ad nauseam in fact….
….. and some schools are re-introducing it!! This will be briefly mentioned in Friday’s post [I am soooo well organised this week I've frightened myself]
TG is my hero…even fast asleep she’s got you under her spell.
Please excuse my absence…my blog-mistress took a few days off & did a little traveling of her own. (What nonesense!) I’ve chained her to the computer until she catches up on her blogging obligations.
It’s good to have a break young Olga …… even for your blog-mistress …… she’s awfully busy you know ………
That’ll teach you the futility of trying to put one over the TG. Just learn how to say “yes, of course, dear” in Latin and you’ll be fine.
I’ll just practice on you to start with: Etiam , nimirum , carus – I must work on the accent some more ……..
I treat my husband properly as long as he agrees with me. I must say he has mastered the “Yes dear! You’re right, dear” pretty well. Training pays off.
BTW, nice new place you’ve got! But I’ve noticed that I’m no longer a DP member nor a Regular Read… boohoo…hoo… I’m so hurt! Of course, you move up and out I go… figures!
Don’t worry, it’s old age. The only way I can keep up with members and regular reads is to wait until I get a comment over here at the new place – I shall rectify the situation immediately!!! ……. sort of. I’ve also been keeping up with people on my feed reader, which is a tad unfriendly I know, but I’m so pushed for time at the moment …… things should improve in a few weeks *hugs* ………. and now ……… whoooooooosh
All done ……. *phew*
…and a nudda! And a nudda!
Muhahahahahahahaha!
….oops, forgot….
…BRRRREEEEEE!
is that Latin??
It’s whatever you want it to be.
(Gotta write that one down for the next potential wife pickup line)
Love is not having to say anything …… no really ……
<3
.
(the finger)
(giggle snort)
Fracarse has gone dotty …… tee hee
Ah.. at least I can say something in reply to this comment.
In coven-talk, the phrase would be ‘batty’ not ‘dotty’, but I guess I didn’t post a bat.
Oh, go clean the corner’s of the ceiling in yoru bedroom with a cinnamon broom. Bother!
EXACTLY ……. or not ….. I’m getting confused now. It had to happen sometime I suppose ….
Not quite all done yet!! I only know one phrase in Latin ‘Carpe Diem, but, I think that fits some what into your wild fantasies.
An admonition to seize the pleasures of the moment without concern for the future. Ha! that is what you were after wasn’t it?
So sorry it fell through…but Lo is a smart cookie. You better be careful with those night time antics.
And yes I know why you are eaking…..so I dropped everything and flew over here!!
Okay I see John gave you some kisses ….so I will give you a hug!!:-)))
…gave DPeses kissages?
Yo, DaddyP! Hey man, if we were doin’ the tongue thing, I totally missed it. You got a video or something so I can feel the love?
Were we protected? Who wore the mouthdam? “Will you still love me tomorrow” comes to mind.
We’re not a couple of virtual dicks messin’ around here…we’re Super PENII!
John you are a nut…but we all love it!! Nighty night!!:-)
I just had a graphic image of my wife and I dressed up as Daddy Warbucks and Annie.
Take no notice of young John – he’s over excited because of the elections [check and double check for typo's - OK].
….. and in reply to your comment below [ scroll down and up again] yes I was abed. I reckon it’s because the world is roundish and insists on turning ….. terribly inconvenient for bloggers.
I agree. Why don’t you do something about that for us? After all… TG seems to find you incredibly handy for fixing up Cliff Top Residences, you should be able to scheme up some contraption to stop the world from doing that while we blog.
Please add that to your list of things to do.
I might retreat to my moon based blogging laboratory and invite the ‘important’ people to join me ……
(HOLDS HAND UP)
Can I come? Please please please PLEASE!
If you bring some waffles …….
…… and bourbon ……
I was going to beard you in your den but – oops!
Braccae tuae aperiuntur.
OK – you’ve got me there Archie. If you return, and aren’t too tired, an explanation would be gratefully received [and I just love saying "Doh!!" - all Bart-like]
According to “Latin for all Occasions”, by Henry Beard, that is a Latin version of, “Your fly is undone.”
Oh ….. and are they? …… and how did you know?
Awww Haaaaa I came back to see if you responded to my comment. And as usual you didn’t. You must be gone sleepy time….just beware of any new ideas you might be cooking up!!
I think it is we who should beware of his new ideas… but hello there dear Jackie. Hugs to you.
I was just thinking …….. oh, never mind …….
Hello to all
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