ELECTRICKERY

I’m starting to fit out the shed. The first job that has to be done is get all the wiring in before I insulate and line the walls and floor.

I’ve already run the line from the Cliff Top Residence to the shed. I knelt in some fox’s poo which is the smelliest poo known to man, and Lo, she is a terrible Goddess, made me strip off in the garden before I was allowed back into the house. The gale driven rain was most refreshing.

I’ve just been out and bought the rest of the wire and fittings.

Electricity

I’ve bought 4 double plugs. I hope that’s enough. There will be an electric kettle of course, a fridge, a radiator, a radio, a plasma screen TV, a DVD player and a computer. That leaves one plug free for any electrical tool I might have to use occasionally. (Do you need an electric blanket for your bed, Peabrain? Lo, TG Ed)

There are 8 spotlights to help my ancient eyes, a pull switch and a small consumer unit.

I take full responsibility for global warming.

To avoid shocks I shall do the work wearing rubber gloves, a wet suit and wellington boots.

I have dropped a note into Aloe Vera’s letterbox just in case she pops her head over the hedge again – I really don’t want a repeat of that ‘kiss of life’ stuff. One mix-up of false teeth is enough for one life-time.

BTW, I’ve decided to give avid readers weekends off – see you on Monday – if I’m spared.

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