Chapter 2
“Have you seen my glasses?” I asked the still humming TG. (Not a word of a lie, Avid Reader. LO,TG Ed)
“No – perhaps they fell off when you were cutting the hedge?” she graciously replied.
I started retracing my footsteps and my step’s steps. I looked on the ground. I looked on the hedge. I looked in the shed. I looked in my undercrackers [they have been known to work their way down that far]. Nothing. Disappeared. Vanished. (!!! That’s the LAST time I borrow his glasses. Lo,TG Ed)
Suddenly I remembered that the TG had instructed me to clear the hedge trimmings out of the pond [this request rather cleverly sung to the tune of “Gonna Make You a Star”].
Could they have fallen into the pond!!!!?! Surely I would have heard a splash?
I bent over [not easy at my age] and looked.
There they were!!!! Obviously they’d landed softly and silently in the weeds. What a relief as I’ve only got half a dozen spare pairs left.
[This is actually a reconstruction of the denouement as I was so excited I rushed in to tell the TG the good news. Don’t try this yourself. You can’t see from the reflection in the water but I am wearing a safety harness and stabilisers] (The stabilisers are a constant feature, but the harness is usually only employed when I take him out for a walk. Lo,TG Ed)
My only regret after the drama of this terribly exciting escapade is that I completely forgot to help myself to Aloe Vera’s plums whilst she was dozing and she picked them herself later on that evening …… how selfish was that?
The End
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Match of the Day
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Stumble It!
7 Comments
Phew, close shave. After all that excitement, I think I’ll take the day off…
(where’s the dead match’s Viking helmet?)
That’s what killed him. It’s still in police custody ….. obviously.
Are those mourners really matches?
Definitely matches …. I don’t know if they are genuine mourners though …..
They look more like flamin’ followers to a wake if you ask me.
Normally they’re cremation groupies of course …..
Glasses are deceptive little critters. They hide at a moments notice. I once spent over an hour looking for mine before I discovered them and the cause of the muffled snickerings from the rest of the family at the same time.
They had cleverly hidden themselves on the top of my head!
They’ve tried that trick with me …… luckily I was alone so nobody knows I’m an idiot ……
i believe the fish have something to do with this. perhaps in cahoots with stumpy the wonder worm. although this is clearly NOT the stuff of a micronovel [sorry for that suggestion, TG. just trying to keep him occupied], it is compelling reading.
I’m really getting concerned about you now Daisy ……
Are Specsavers doing fish-eye lenses now ?
Dammit …… I should have gone there …..
I was hopin’ you’d nipped the plums, I kept reading each word in anticipation from the last entry…all I have to eat here are prunes.
I might have tried one or two ….. but that would be getting a little too near the truth ….. tee hee
Plums like those don’t deserve to be on the branch.
They should be examined for lumps and bumps before being consumed ….. best done after a shower …..