What are the secrets to a long marriage?
1. Always put the toilet seat down.
2. Maintain ignorance of how the dishwasher works.
3. Mix up coloureds and whites early on the relationship then the washing machine will never become an issue.
4. If cornered on a particular issue develop an expression of intense concentration and concern.
5. If there [...]
… what you look at but the way you look at it that gives you the hump.
Of course the converse or reverse is the way of the spin doctor. Do you think that you know who, what or where you are? Somebody else might not agree.
As a very famous person said “Life is simples innit”. [...]
I have little interest in politics particularly now that it is dominated by ‘political correctness’ and ‘financial considerations’.
Tony Blur never said anything that wasn’t fuzzy, Boredom Brown had the charisma of a freshly painted piece of wood left out to dry and the present incumbents of the highest positions in the British political sphere, [...]
A Kent village club sailed into the Channel to re-enact a historic match and got far more than they expected. The following article was first published in the November 2006 issue of The Wisden Cricketer.
The Goodwin Sands, off the Kent coast from Ramsgate, is best known as a place of shipwreck. In The Merchant of [...]
When Tolkien removed all mention of Floppy Baggins from the Lord of the Rings he became the forgotten hobbit.
The reasons were never fully explained but I have my suspicions.
Floppy Baggins wasn’t very bright, indeed, his last known meaningful synapse coincided with the completion of his potty training – rather like the staff at my local [...]
It’s my birthday in about six weeks. (Bless. Not a hope. Lo,TG Ed)
A gentle start to the week to help you get your brains in gear.
A simple explanation of how genetics work.
There is no way I’m having a bath this weekend.
I’ll apologise for the smell now but I’m sure you’ll understand.
I hope that your weekend will be less whiffy than the TG’s.
Going to the bottle bank used to be a pleasure and a real boost to my ego.
There used to be open bins, and you heaved your plastic box up to the lip and sent your glass cascading down in a very satisfying crash of broken bottles. There was a sense that here is a man [...]
The local fete committee worried about next year’s village fair Maypole Dance has put out a call for virgins.
The scene this year was, quite frankly, a total debacle so far as innocent virgins were concerned.
Unfortunately, in this village [average age 103+] there is a shortage of little girls and boys available to dance around the [...]
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