Category Archives: Short stories

TIMES THEY ARE A-CHANGING

An imaginary e-mail from a 12 year old daughter to her Generation X mother.

Hello Mum,

I would talk to you directly but your head always seems to be buried in your smart phone and you never actually hear what I’m [...]

MY VISION FOR THE FUTURE.

Humans have been around for the blink of an eye. It’s highly likely that during the next blink we will become extinct.
Perhaps crocodiles and cockroaches will survive and, in the fullness of time, work out how to breed.
The result might look like the alien from Aliens.

A few, by which [...]

RE-WRITING CHRISTMAS

My story concerns seven brothers from the town of Muzak who get fed up with waiting for seven brides and decide to join a monastery.

After a couple of weeks they all get rather bored, and not wishing to break their vows, form a mime group. They call themselves the Von Trappists.

Their act proves very popular [...]

THE SOLUTION TO FRETTING

I have come up with a brilliant and effective solution to stop  people worrying about all those silly, unimportant things.

On a particularly fretful day last week, I decided to run around the carpark outside Morrisons the supermarket, wearing nothing more than a smile and a hat. It was very freeing but the worries about my [...]

A DAY IN THE LIFE.

Lo, she is a terrible Goddess had an appointment at the hairdressers so I took the opportunity to pop into The Twisted Gusset for my usual half a lager with a sherry chaser.

I was greeted by Irene.

“Where’s Lo?”

“Oh, she’s at the hairdressers.”

“They’re very good you know. I had some highlights done there just the other [...]

THE WINTER BUG

Jasper took one last look at the jumble of 1’s and 0’s and then pressed ‘send’. The effect spread incredibly rapidly. Computers all over the world started to resemble a recently agitated snow globe. Even Smart phones were affected. Gradually the snow settled and screens filled up and turned completely white – except Jasper’s.
Over the [...]

NOVEL OPENING LINES

It was a dark and stormy night … no that’s been done … oh I know … The hemispheres of her breasts quivered in eager anticipation of his male hardness .. . no … not novel enough … erm … this is quite tricky … *thinks* … *thinks [hardly]* … *thinks [again]* … *thinks [feeling [...]

IT ISN’T ONLY CROCODILES THAT SNAP

Professor Marigolds is often seen striding through the village wearing robust tweeds with her glasses perched on the end of her nose.
She’s retired now of course, but not so long ago she was a well respected scientist working for the War Office, concentrating on the theory that flavoured crisps could be used as a chemical [...]

THINK BIG!

I’ve built the mountain and now I’ve almost finished constructing the babbling brook that cascades down its’ craggy sides, flows across the pampas and gently drops into the lake [which I dug out by hand] that the goldfish call home.

This is a photo of one of our neighbours enjoying the fruits of my labour.
Her name [...]

THE NINJA SHOPPER – Conclusion

Avid Readers, you will remember I was last seen being frogmarched into the security officer’s lair. I won’t go into the details. Suffice it to say that after a very rigorous search of the bags and an all-embracing search of my person the phantom bottle was not found.
The security man scratched his head.
“This has never [...]